Subtitle: Or how i learned to stop deluding myself and accept being beta.

Its been a long time since i posted a FR, and this one documents a point which i will freely admit is not my finest hour. It is going to have a lot of rant involved, but i feel that this story can highlight a lot of things that the newbies might find very instructive in clearing their head in the fog of a fresh unplugging. Anyone who wishes to bail at this point, isn't up for a read, should do so now.

It takes place over the 72 hours of the last weekend, and it clarifies a number of things which i had allowed to become clouded in the fray of the last few months and years.

It concerns how i lost my best plate, but more generally than that, like the Divine Comedy, its about what i saw on the way.

So, to business:

Myself and my best plate (32, HB7, sex drive that cant be matched) were discussing fantasies, and it comes up that ive never had a 3 way. Ive done pretty much everything else, but every partner ive had until now had refused to share. After a small amount of encouragement she agrees to a FFM, assuming we can find a girl we both like.

I begin scouting on the appropriate sites, send out a generic message and start harvesting applicants for consideration.

At this point, we diverge from the main plot, to detail what i saw on this site. And to illustrate some facts of life that those freshly unplugged may not yet have digested in quite this raw a format before.

My usual hunting grounds for new plates, day to day is Plenty of Fish, weekends its IRL approaches in nightclubs, where possible (Im getting too old to go out every weekend). Now, i used to work in a job where facial recognition was key, so i dont generally forget a face.

The site where i harvested these applications is primarily designed for swingers and polys. But it also caters to those looking to invite a guest to their play sessions. Which is what i used it for. The point is, the tone of the site is very different to POF.

POF is to this place, as mumsnet is to 4chan.

This place contains explicit pornographic images of the men and women on its site, engaged in a variety of sex acts. But what is most striking about the photos posted isnt the explicit nature, its how rarely the women bother to cover their face.

What struck me, most chillingly to my own self-esteem, was that i knew these girls, a large number of them. Or rather, i'd spoken to them. I'd approached them before. And 90% of them had done the same thing. Expressed interest, but resisted plate status and demanded expensive dates and large investments of my time. Which i of course, duly refused.

At the time, i didn't so much mind, not every woman is cut out to be a plate, i rationalized, sure they all ride the carousel, but this is a little more than carousel riding, these women are basically directly offering themselves to alphas, they are advertising themselves as cum dumpsters, and reveling in posting photographic evidence.

These are the women who have classified me as beta. To say that my confidence took a hit would be an epic understatement.

The lesson here for all of our new readers - AWALT. Even the ones who make you wait.

Anyway, to polish off the story, i harvest the applications and present them for consideration:

The first, i like but she doesn't.

The second, neither of us liked

The third, we both agreed would be a lot of fun, 28, blonde, probably a 6.5 but raised slightly by a tremendous rack. Hot enough that she'd pass both of our boner tests, but not so hot she'd be intimidated by her.

We agreed to meet with the third, a girl called Jennifer. She was very keen. We got to the point where Jennifer was waiting for us to agree a time for her to work around.

At this time, a fourth offer came in that demanded consideration, a girl named Lisa. This was a solid 9, and she was photo verified. She lived further away than we would have liked but was prepared to travel. I figure, game on.

She wants to speak to Sally (The plate) directly, since we don't live together i invited her to a group chat between the 3 of us. Quickly it becomes apparent that Lisa actually has very little interest in me, she gets some nudes from Sally and the conversation appears to die. I at first presumed she simply wasn't attracted to her. Since it was late, around midnight, i message the group "I think she may have fallen asleep, she did earlier. I should probably get some myself, talk later" I close the app but i don't close the chat window.

Anyway about 5 minutes later, while trying to sleep i get a notification that Sally has re-opened a private chat between us.

She informs me that Lisa is talking to her directly, she has completely bypassed me.

I'm offended but i figure meh, been knocked back before, but Sally continues the discussion with her, keeps telling me she can "Convince her", i of course respond that i really have no interest in "Convincing" her, im not doing a threeway with a woman who has no interest or is sexually repulsed by me.

It continues for a bit and i put my veto in, not interested, im pulling the plug. Only Sally doesn't, she keeps going. Apparently i just need to chill, apparently its perfectly ok that shes subverting what was supposed to be my fantasy into her own little hook up. I ask Lisa directly whats going on, she avoids the question.

So i pull the plug on both of them. Sally spends an hour and a half trying to make out she doesn't get why im offended, and asking me what i want her to do, claiming to have blocked Lisa. I don't know if she did, don't really care at this point.

Sally had an opportunity to display loyalty to me, by accepting my misgivings at the first sign of trouble, and by rebuffing Lisa's attempts to subvert what we were trying to achieve. But she didn't do that. Even when its a woman, the sniff of someone that high up on the SMV scale was enough to make her completely forget her loyalty to me until i pulled the plug on her entirely.

Of course once i did, she apologized profusely, said she'd do anything i wanted her to do. But i'd already made my mind up.

I came out of this realizing that for all my posturing about being alpha, and for all of the women ive fucked in the last 3 years, im still nothing but a beta. I've achieved nothing. And right now im finding that very hard to live with.

Stay hungry boys, because you're never more than a couple of wrong moves away from being laughed out of the ring.

Update

Slightly unexpected turn of events, Sally's best friend just text me "Hi, i cant keep your number in my phone cos im with <Insert boyfriends name here> but text me later"

Wasn't expecting that...