I have a friend, who is in her late 40's (I'm young, 28F). She has climbed the career ladder very high in her life. She had reached to a vice president position at an investment bank company in Malaysia before she married and had children.

She's been having marriage problems for almost two years so she's out dating other men. She's currently dating a diplomatic ambassador. She went back to work a few months ago and she's also back at some sort of high management position.

The other day, the ambassador told her he heard a rumor that a woman was promoted as one of the top managers at her company, and he started making comments about how a woman shouldn't be in that position, usually it's a man, how can she do a good job, etc. My friend told him that it was actually her who got promoted and he still kept on making insulting comments. She became very displeased and told him she felt angry and asked him not to say these things to her, and she left.

So my friend is asking me for advice as to "how to set boundaries" and let him know it's not OK to say things insulting things to her.

My advice to her (from an RPW standpoint) was that she cannot rely on him for validation of her career success. I told her that her position at her company is not of romantic value to him. If he says anything insulting about her career abilities, she should just make a joke out of it and quietly prove her worth, but again...her career success does not make him like her more.

She disagreed and said her boundary was crossed with his insults and she thinks she should still be clear about telling him not to say these things to her.

What does RPW think?