I’m in need of some guidance from some men, please help!!

2017-11-01T13:21:56+00:00

Your story is too general to give you any specific advice. The best thing you can do if you want advice from here is to read the 3 "course prerequisite" books on the sidebar and see if any of that resonates with you. If so, you can come back and ask some meaningful questions.

mrpthrowa · 2017-11-01T13:30:14+00:00

you need to start reading the sidebar and get your life in order. You're concentrating on her, and not you, and paradoxically that is what is screwing up you.

Your wife coming back crazy horny means that she is being gamed by other men and she likes the attention.

It's only a matter of time before she rides some strange dick if she hasn't already. I'd say she's already fooling around at least.

2017-11-01T13:40:45+00:00

in the beginning marriage was great my wife would put little notes in my lunch, cuddle with me at night. She would really show me love and affection. Cook dinner and keep the house work up, spend time withh the kids and always have time for me. Always happy and in good moods.

Yeah, you need to sidebar. Before this is removed/locked I'm going to suggest you put this question in the back of your mind: what was your side of this bargain? What would your wife write:

in the beginning marriage was great my husband would ........., ........., and .......... He would really show me love and affection. ......... and .......... Always happy and in good moods.

I don't care about the answer. Read the sidebar.

But I start to think why only if she’s drunk and been out?

It's because she escaped from the drudgery of her mom role and feels like "herself" again, genius.

Rian_Stone · 2017-11-01T13:49:21+00:00

/r/askmrp

RPJMRP · 2017-11-01T13:50:14+00:00

You haven't been following here. There is no way.

Let me rephrase your question- "I've been lazy as it relates to MRP and my own masculinity. I continue to reward poor behavior from my wife. I crave validation from my wife and that well has run dry. Help me fix my marriage..."

here's the answer, no one can fix your marriage. Fix yourself, she will fill the container you build for her. Or she won't.

By the way, your entire post is a massive covert contract. Start with identifying those and go from there.

Rian_Stone · 2017-11-01T14:43:22+00:00

Oh boy, that place. Saving for if he askmrp the post

I don’t have kids yet so I might not fully identify with your struggle but I’ve been with my husband a long time, and I work from home so I spend a lot of time at the house. First, don’t be offended by her being horny only when she goes out and has a few drinks. Maybe she’s under a lot of stress at home and it’s hard for her to kick into “sexytime” mode. Having some laughs and getting a buzz helps her let go of all that stress and really just helps her relax. So when she comes home to you she’s ready to enjoy you. Don’t take it negatively.
The amount of housework you each do isn’t important. It’s the perception of how much you each do that matters. She knows she has been running around all day after kids and probably looks at the dishes and can’t bring herself to stand on her feet any longer and scrub. You work two jobs and are probably mentally exhausted when you get home. So you each look around hoping the other will help out more. I appreciate that your explanation doesn’t place all of the blame on her, it’s a team effort.
Think: do you notice when she takes the trash out, checks the mail, cleans the toilet, whatever little things she does, maybe sets out your clothes for work? Make a point to thank her, look her in the eyes every morning and tell her you love her. Give her a hug before you leave for work. I know some guys think “she knows I love her” but you have to say it every single day.
Communicate with her. Ask her how her day was, and listen. She will tell you what she needs. If she always sounds frazzled she probably needs some rest. Offer to draw a bath or cook dinner for her (maybe a foot massage?). If she is depressed often then talk to her, see if there is anything specific bothering her.
A good read: Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus. It discusses how everyone has ups and downs and how to work through them by understanding when someone needs space and when they need attention.
And more of an out-there suggestion, have you talked about quitting one job to help out at home while she picks up some part time work so that you can each spend time with the kids? That might be a little drastic but if you have jobs that have different schedules you will still rarely need daycare and you might both be less worn out by adding some variety to your day.

Here, guarantee that this ends up with her pretty pissed for the liftstyle shift that comes with it

have you talked about quitting one job to help out at home while she picks up some part time work so that you can each spend time with the kids?

Title	I’m in need of some guidance from some men, please help!!
Author	Aaronrodgers2
Upvotes	2
Comments	16
Date	November 1, 2017 1:11 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/7a3gmr/im_in_need_of_some_guidance_from_some_men_please/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/im-in-need-of-some-guidance-from-some-men-please.198370 https://theredarchive.com/post/198370

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