Education: Finished reading MMSLP and NNMNG. Just started reading When I say No, I feel Guilty. Still working on the Sidebar, specifically The Rational Male, Year One. Realize from NMMNG that I'm going to have to use my work EAP program to get some help for the trust issues I still need to work on re:past relationship betrayal on my wife's part. That's something I need help fixing within me, and I realize it's the root cause of my own neediness towards her. I realize it's caused me a lot of insecurities and made me clingy towards her. I need to kill that behavior within myself and get some help in deciding what if anything I should do to get this almost 10 year old monkey off my back.

Lifting: Nothing new to report in past week.

Status Update: Things are progressing positively. Still doing my best to spot Shit Tests and either STFU, or AA, the odd pressure flip when I can. 90% STFU when I can spot it, but aren't sure how to reply. I'm trying really hard not to DEER but occasionally slip up. Old habits die hard.

On a positive not the last 7 days have resulted in 3 really good instances of sex. The first I already mentioned after the party last week. The 2nd was mid-week, I had been sprinkling as much Alpha as I could that day and was waiting to see if it would pay off. Kids were both out of the house for about an hour. Wife and I had been watching Netflix on the couch, when I decided to test the waters. I mention "you know we're all alone for another 45min?' with a raised eyebrow. I get a hard no and tsk. No worries. I'm OI and I act like it's nothing and say, "Oh well, your loss" and grin. Go back to watching show.

She get's up to go use washroom upstairs. As she's getting up I jokingly say "29 min left" as she's walking away. 2 minutes later she's calling my name....finished up with a few minutes to spare before the kids came back. This from someone who never instigates. 2 times in 4 days...I think that's more than the last year.

On the weekend, we had some free tickets land in our hands for a concert so I decided to make a date night of it. Told her we're dropping the kids off at the grandparents for a sleepover and going for dinner before the show. Got a chance to clean up and dress "up" for the event. Looked sharp and was just in my positive frame (getting laid helps), content to enjoy the moment with her. I think the confidence of having her initiate a couple times really inflated my ego. Felt like a millionaire, in a room full of millionaires.

When we got home I decided to push my luck, as she's getting undressed and ready to get in the ugly night shirt (you know what I'm talking about) I tell her to stop and wait for me in her bra and panties while I undress and use the washroom. She balks at first, I give her a hard "no, stay like that and wait for me". She doesn't say a word but when I get out of the washroom she's waiting for me to pounce. Still feeling lucky I decide to follow the Athol Kay suggestion of just telling her what I want, not asking. Works like magic, repeatedly.

So those are the highlights. Only one real shit test and that was breakfast this morning where she pretty much demanded I go pick up takeout while she stayed in bed. I said look you have two options, I'm making omelettes downstairs or you're coming with me if you want breakfast. Truth be told I wouldn't have minded going to grab breakfast for myself, so going together would have suited me fine. It was the demand that I recognized as a shit test. My reply was weak I know, I just was personally fine with either option I gave her. I'm just trying to break her of the "I'm her servant mentality". So I went downstairs and made omelettes ( I do most of the cooking cause I'm actually good at it by choice, she bakes) and not another word was said. Rest of the day went great. No further shit tests.

Got a few projects finished around the house that made her happy and am hoping that I can continue this good sex trend into next week. I'm thinking I might just be lucky and she's ovulating (supposed to be next week, but my days may be off a bit). She's usually no where near this compliant.