So last yesterday we continued freezing each other out since the day before. As I get out of the shower I notice her shuffling and I catch a glimpse of a "sexy" bra before she put on her shirt. In bed she is quiet, and then attempts many thing that I was warned about to antagonize me to anger. She begins w/ the music on her laptop too loud and as I get in bed I ask her to use her headphones. She does but 2-3 times the music gets loud enough to bother me in the headphones to where I tell her to turn it down. Then it gets good. I turn on something to record the next 40 minutes of craziness on my phone b/c I want some kind of evidence. She starts saying things to hurt me and twisting things I've said to make it sound like I am horny 24/7 around my co-workers & that she is afraid to bring her 16 year old cousin around me b/c I let her know that guys are horny all the time & we are evolutionarily designed to begin noticing 2ndary sexual characteristics upon development but mature modern men recognize that for many reasons certain age ranges are off limits, further that I can be aroused by most women but I am mature enough to not act on it. I let her know that I will no longer tolerate insinuation or accusations like she is trying to make. She pushes further and I keep shutting it down. I am glad that i was recording my many attempts at stopping the convo and her insistence on saying more and more inappropriate things (since we are in counseling and had previously agreed that "time out" meant "time out"). She then goes into a crying story about a "rape" (she was drugged in college age, never reported it, the guy did time after doing the same to another girl, he later got out and contacted her about his coming to jesus) and how I can't understand what it is like and all this is about her not wanting to be w/ a man that could view women, even 18 year old "children" as sexual objects. Also going over all these stories of men asking her out and she is a fool for not saying yes, that before I came in she was dancing in the mirror and realized that she is hot, and maybe another man would recognize it, etc (I'm thinking, who are you trying to convince, me or you... but I held my tongue). She says she doesn't want a dude that is horny over all women and continues to bring up my not even attractive co-worker that I had mentioned upon being asked that I had a horny thought 2-3x. (Note: I am a beginner in dread but I think this is it working especially considering what follows.) I hold frame, refuse to tolerate any accusations, listen as much as necessary and hold her when she cries about rape (although I am 99% certain this was a manipulation tactic- why bring it up now?). She goes to the bathroom, comes out looking sexy as hell, sexy bra, sexy panties, puts her leg over mine, and what followed was the best sex we've had that I can recall. I was definitely more dominant, multiple positions (variety), ensuring my pleasure and what I wanted. She usually stops me as I attempt to go down on her- This time when she tried to stop me I pushed her hand away, and went full on. She quickly gave verbal and physical sings that she was very happy. I followed the D & V in DEVI and it was good. After several goes at it she even gave me a bj (my first in my 1.5 years of marrige) before I had even cleaned up. Fucking hot. At some point she says I can expect more of those if I am nice. LOL, nice is not what got me here.

Now for the negative- I tasted alcohol on her breath. I met her in a sober program a few years ago. She hadn't drank in almost 3 years. I haven't drank in 7+. I know that I can't be responsible for her decisions but I feel somewhat like... I don't know... like I played a part by rocking her out of a complacent emotional state. I looked in her drawer when she was out of the room and I noticed a box wine. This explains her unabashed attempt to follow my direction to "be my fantasy" as well as the emotional swings. I haven't said anything about the drink and I don't think she knows that I know.

tl:dr, it works. best sex I've had since marriage. First bj. It followed from soft dread and holding frame.