I am on a new level since reading the MAP.

I have continued to stay sober. I am working in a career I love 12 hours a day. 6 days a week I am lifting 5-6 days a week even after these long work days. I am going to school to further my career and education. I start taking jujitsu 3 days a week even after work and lifting. I read everyday. I have set daily. Short. Mid. Long term goals for myself. I have changed my financial situation to get out of debt and have been saving money. (Going as planned) I don’t have much time or opportunity to keep my game on point so I use the gym or grocery store for that. Talk to the girls at the desk while I order and drink my shake and stuff. I meditate and have activially started to STFU and listen better rather than waiting for my turn to just speak.

If a problem or issue arises I stop. Breathe and look with in as to why I feel this way. And try to break it down and control me before I make any type of response.

I get all my shit done around the house or whatever needs to be done. I do it as soon as I can.

One thing all this has taught me is PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING LAZY. They say they don’t have time but I do more in a day than most of them do all week. Anyway.

I lead my relationship, and she is very receptive. I plan fun shit. The sex is on a level I never experienced before even after fucking a shit load of women in my life. This is the relationship I want and it’s because I am the very best I ever have been. Still fresh relationship. I don’t have one complaint at the time. There has been little issues here and there. I have stopped them dead in their tracks by creating boundaries and they have not been broken since.

But even with all this going on for me. I STILL find myself going into her frame. In caring about what she’s thinking, doing, etc. I don’t know why and I want to know how to fix it.

Also I find myself getting insecure about her past. It’s not even big shit. It’s stupid fucking shit. People she dated. Shit she did. And I’m no one to talk because my past is sooo fucked up. She’s an angel comepared to me. But still I find it bothering me and then I’m into her frame again.

For example she got pulled over and didn’t get a ticket. I asked her how and she said she had a gold card with her name on it. Her ex is a cop so I knew she got it from him. Why this ended in me making a post about it. I want to eventually go to flight school. I told her and she said learn to fly a helicopter. I knew a guy she dated took her on a date in a helicopter. So I said no someone already took you in a date in one. I want to fly a plane. She changed the subject. Literally I know you’re going to read it and say I’m trolling or this is fucking retarded because it is. But it’s renting space in my brain and fucking with my mood.

I realize I’m on a different level than anyone not only she has ever dated but mostly all women.

So I don’t know why this stupid shit is bothering me. but it is and I want to figure out how to stop it. Any advice.