Hi guys. It's my first post here so excuse me if it does not fit in the rules exactly how it should. I am 24 years old male, good looking (7-8/10). I had a gf for 4 years with a lots of ups and downs and she dumped me again in the beginning of august. I was devastated, blah blah blah, you know it. Was browsing other forum and found this subreddit. I was hooked up instantly.

So in high school i was a big fat turd, hell even my female classmates rarely talked to me. I got friendzoned everytime by a girl, i went to only 1 date and the girl stopped to answer my calls right after that :D. Basically i was the worst of the worst - very very low self esteem, fat and so on. I made a change in my life after high school, went to live with my father in another country (i've barely saw him because i was living with my mother) and worked for an year. I lost 20 kg over an year and became more self confident, more handsome etc. After this year i came home to study again and i met my ex gf. In the course of those 4 years i was maybe 60% beta and 40% alpha because girls gave their attention to me all the time, hell i even had the chance to fuck an 8-9/10 classmate of mine. I never did because i loved my gf and i wanted to be truly hers blah blah blah. What i want to say is that i actually felt that girls like me, even that i'm still beta. So i assume i'm not that fucking ugly i thought i was and had some skills to talk to women.

I did some serious weightlifting the last year but my ex subconsciously made me to stop it (yeah, i know now, that was a mistake and probably led to the point where she dumped me...)

So here i am. Single, a bit AFC (because i still have anxiety to approach girls i do not know) , overall beta, but willing to swallow the pill for good.

I plan to start weightlifting again but to get low body fat and visible muscles, not for bodybuilding. I'll probably start training some martial art because i rely on it to boost my self confidence, combine with my workouts to achieve better physique and to learn how to fight of course. I need to know that if i plan to swallow the pill and be a MAN.

And for my gf... i think this is over but nobody know. She is a nice lady, "unicorn" but i blew it all with my beta behavior all the time (Hey , MAN, what do you want to eat? - Umm, i don't know... you decide.) I want to cry now because how pathetic i was...

So guys, i've red the sidebar , i've red almost everything in The rational male, i red "No more Mr. Nice Guy" and i downloaded a bunch of other ebooks to read (body language, GAME books and stuff). What more do i need to read and do to completely understand the Red Pill? Don't get me wrong - i'm not here to fck btches. I want to improve myself and be a MAN, i'm born with penis after all. I want to live a better life for myself. I understood that the b*tches come along too, but i'm not here mainly for them. Yeah it would be nice to get my rooster wet every night but what's the point if i'm the same blue shit after all?