Did any of you struggle with being a surrendered single?

Zselda · 2016-07-04T21:06:57+00:00

sorry that things didn't work out with the guy. i'm gonna divide my advice into two sections:

Being 30 and Single:

I know having tough childhoods are difficult to overcome for many, but by 25, you really have no excuses. You cannot blame your current situations or failings on how you grew up as a child because you're a full grown, functioning adult and have been for years. You are responsible for yourself now, no one else. So abandon this victim mentality from your youth and take hold of your destiny. You are the only participant of your life. Own that.

Surrendered Single:

So I read Surrendered Single and it was okay. I felt that it was somewhat redundant at parts and honestly, I think her book, the Surrendered Wife is better written.

I'd say just date with a purpose. What do you want out of your next boyfriend? What are able and willing to bring to the table to the next man you want to date seriously? Think about these things before your next date. I do think being open is helpful when you're getting back on the horse, but I think you should also know what you want so you aren't wasting your time. Then just try to chill out, and enjoy your time with him. Let him lead. We have tons of great resources in the sidebar and our RPW wiki that you can reference when you need specific guidance.

Best of luck!

Zselda · 2016-07-06T04:38:00+00:00

Be sure to take a look at this post about vetting men, this one about psychological feminity and the relationship dynamics series (part two here).

Zselda · 2016-07-04T21:07:54+00:00

You'll have to get used to rejection in all different forms if you want to be successful at dating, and will have to pull yourself together again afterwards if you want to succeed.

And also try not to put all your eggs in one basket and become too attached or invested in someone who is not (yet, or ever) reciprocating the same level of interest. It's best to take a light hearted approach to it until you do meet someone who comes along and wants to go further with you, which they will if you work on self improvement and femininity and put yourself out there often.

Taking each and every prospect so seriously when there's not much to go on and you haven't yet reached some level of mutual commitment is just recipe for heartbreak!

[deleted] · 2016-07-04T22:27:12+00:00

I tried the Surrendered Single approach and let a guy pursue me that I wouldn't have been open to at first glance. I thought I had nothing to lose. Well, I did. I liked him way more than I expected and thus was way more hurt than I expected when it hasn't worked out.

I'm not sure how this emotional setback was intensified by being a "surrendered single" - if you went about dating in a normal way, doesn't that also involve getting to like guys with whom it may or may not work out?

You're 30, so your personal tried and (un)true methods clearly aren't working. Whether or not being a surrendered single is for you, you need to figure something out and change your methods!

Title	Did any of you struggle with being a surrendered single?
Author	Zselda
Upvotes	13
Comments	11
Date	July 4, 2016 8:49 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/4r97jt/did_any_of_you_struggle_with_being_a_surrendered/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/did-any-of-you-struggle-with-being-a-surrendered.209853 https://theredarchive.com/post/209853

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