Got together with a few of my 'mates' from uni, started a software dev gig. Things seemed like a dream when I was starting. I've seen opportunities for cash and self improvement. Now, 4 months later, I'm already tired of the roller coaster. Cash is FAR from steady, getting shit one month, spiking the next, meaning I can't plan I'll get X cash in 6 months, making me always delay the plans for a new laptop, car, even a flat.

I've talked to a mate that's a senior dev and he told me to stay low and learn here for a year, milk everyone and everything around me, use all the time I have to learn relevant shit and make myself a catch for other companies. This also makes me feel like a piece of shit, knowing deep down I don't give a fuck about our 'company', and that I'll either leave to another company, or start my own shit without the egocentric leader we have now.

And he's fucking crazy, pushing himself to the max, and expecting others to do the same as well. Working on weekends and in the evening is regular shit, 'we gotta meet the deadline'. He's expecting me to look for possible projects if I don't have anything to do, and oh boy, some days I ain't got shit to do. I'm watching tutorials, reading articles, trying the new things out, but I ain't gonna sit there and scroll thru freelance projects for hours and get nothing out of it.

We also got into an argument, he told me I'm the weakest link, that I do not respect anyone because of my posture and facial expressions during meetings, that I can badly affect the juniors that are coming in very soon, that he'll rather drop me than have me badly affect the new ones. I nodded, accepted that I've maybe been too expressive during meetings, and agreed to most of the things he said, tried my best to look like he's gotten to me and that I've realized my fuck ups.

I've given myself a year at this place, and after that year (that's ~8 months now), I'll see where I'm at and see what I'll do.

  • How do I handle the egoistic leader from now on? We're pretty good at work, but we don't do anything together out of work, and I'll make sure it stays that way.
  • How do I make this experience less painful in general? I'm working on a good ass portfolio to show off I'm a developer that's up to date with the latest trends, as well as a few flashy projects are planned. Anything besides that?