When's a good time to tell my girlfriend my views on marriage; and how should I articulate it?

RPShitlord · 2017-04-07T22:31:29+00:00

Proposing is beta, and ceremonial marriage means as much in divorce court as a legal marriage.

You can slowly release your opinions over a time, commenting on various stories such as cost of marriage or the diamond industry scam.

You shouldn't even mention marriage or your views on it until you've already been balls in.

EDIT: You don't "propose" to get married, you "agree" to get married if the deal is right. Getting on your knees and proposing is wrong. Convincing you to marry her is right.

MattyAnon · 2017-04-08T00:21:19+00:00

as long as the current marriage/divorce/alimony system is in place

Even if it changes, it could change back again. Marriage has (and will again) legally changed even for people already married. Even if they made it perfectly what you wanted today, they have betrayed men before and would again.

I don't actually have a girlfriend. But when I do get one, and I feel shes the one I want to marry, should I tell her this? And at what point should I tell her this, and how?

You don't have to say or do anything. Marriage is a one-way providership contract that she is NOT entitled to.

If she starts, you say "I'm not ready yet" and "maybe one day" and "I don't know you well enough". You never articulate not-gonna-marry, and why would you? This is not in your best interests, and you don't owe her an explanation.

The reason why I think this important is because when I propose I want her to know that I mean ceremonial marriage and not legal marriage, so I feel it should be before I propose.

oh god..... don't fucking propose AT ALL. You don't have to. Just don't bother. No ceremonial marriage, nothing.

Potential problem I see with telling her early: She'll do legal research and find a way to milk me of my money via (alimony disguised as) child support in case of a divorce

There will be no divorce because there will be no marriage.

Inb4: "don't even get ceremonially married, there's no point" - I have my beliefs, you have yours. Imagine you have to work within my limited framework, what would you do?

Ok fine. Work within your legal framework. You'll find that most courts will count a ceremonial marriage as a legally binding one. We can't help you if you have to make bad decisions in life.

awayofthought · 2017-04-08T01:12:30+00:00

Marriage was a simple and straightforward option for both men and women. Now it has been so misconstrued by feminism, consumerism, hookup culture, that it is nearly impossible to have a successful marriage.

Do not tell her anything and lead through your actions.

Title	When's a good time to tell my girlfriend my views on marriage; and how should I articulate it?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	5
Date	April 7, 2017 10:09 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/643i9e/whens_a_good_time_to_tell_my_girlfriend_my_views/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/whens-a-good-time-to-tell-my-girlfriend-my-views.216019 https://theredarchive.com/post/216019

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