So here I am looking down at my burger and thinking to myself that something needs to change. It being my day off from training, I decided to treat myself with some protein and, like a Pussy, I ordered it Well Done. Biting into this burnt piece of cow carcass, I chewed slowly realizing this event was just one of a number of regrets in my life and my only choice from here on out was to man up or die trying.

As a kid,I had never given women much thought and dedicated more time to playing than studying the opposite gender. By the time I reached puberty, I was just a hurricane of hormones and confused emotion. I grew up with a father who in his day rivaled Porfiro Rubirosa as a Latin Lover. In the parlance of our times, he got more ass than a toilet seat. However, by the fault of his own work ethic and the castration of family life, he settled down and dedicated all his time working to support his family. Though I don't fault him for this and love him dearly, I was raised by telephone and saw very little of him. I was never properly groomed and learned very little about manhood. Instead, I was raised by women whom were controlling and demanding. I'd been a chubby kid since I was never taught how to play sports and for this I was bullied repeatedly by my mother and grew to have low self esteem. My only other hope being my brother whom was off to college and continuing my father's legacy as a womanizer. During his visits, he'd tell me stories of his conquests and leave me with words of wisdom.

Flash forward a few years later and my brother is dead. My family is emotionally traumatized and I'm left alone while everyone deals with their grief. My father, seeing he had not been there for his sons, decided to have me be his second chance. He began saving money for me to learn self defense and martial artist. Encouraging me to go more and become proficient as the skills I was learning could've possibly saved my brother. As a side effect of an increasingly demanding regime, I was finally losing weight and getting confident because when you know how to kill a man, it's hard to be intimidated. I learned to control my own fear and face my demons by only choosing to spar with the adults 2x my size and age. Many ass kickings were to come but I was eventually dominating in ring.

The only part of my life left to improve in was dating. I had found one of the myriad of dating apps and even with my horrible profile pictures, had managed to get the attention of an average looking Puerto Rican girl. I was surprisingly charming and leaned on my dry humor to keep her interested. She repaid me with my first kiss and blowjob all on the same day. I felt like I could conquer the world. And went on to date many girls,, usually always at least kissing on the first date. These were the years I looked upon fondly, however, by the time I reached 18 years, I realized that I'd been limiting myself to only average girls and almost exclusively used dating apps. I thought I deserved more and my ego having been fed by years of basic bitches, I attempted just that. I broke into the night club scene and approached girl after girl. Even over the blaring music, they heard my request for dances and thus began the grinding, bj's, and thank you French kissing. I failed plenty of times and it was always my fault for not controlling the situation. In any case, I learned a lot about myself but still craved more.

Even though I was not yet 20, my parents were desperate for grandchildren. My sister being labeled a hopeless case, they turned to me for hope. That was completely ridiculous and eventually came they to their senses but it made me realize I had not had a meaningful long term relationship and longed for an ideal relationship. This is when my downfall began. At my job, I had grown very close to my coworker and deemed her a worthy specimen. And so I pursued her with my usual bravado. Complimenting her and letting her know of my noticing of any change in her hair or overall look. I'd tease her and neg all the time. Our banter was legendary. We eventually hung out together but she started revealing that she had baggage. Like relationship baggage in that she wasn't completely over her ex and she'd make any excuse to not date me. This wasn't enough to stop her wanting to wrestle under the blankets every now and then. Eventually I realized I wasn't meeting my original goal and I decided to end things. I found myself with a hole in my heart and realized I had fallen in love with her even after all she put me through. Though my pride convinced me I was being used, I was never the same.

I found myself in two more relationships where no matter how badly the girl treated or disrespected me, I'd stay out of a need to be loved. Eventually I found the strength to leave and decided to focus on myself from then on. Just work, school, and martial arts. I kept on and on for almost a year, with good results. I then decided I was ready to try again and found myself too timid to act on my desires. I failed on apps and couldn't find the time or confidence to try anything in public. I lost the zest I used to have for life and became practically impotent so I pushed these issues to the back of my mind and continued working. I'd probably have ignored the issues for the rest of my life if it hadn't been for my pussy burger. So her I am hoping to rebuild myself through the wonder of The Red Pill. Thank you for reading and I'm open to any advice on where to begin again and reclaim my manhood.