So I met a girl in a club and swapped numbers 2 months ago. We dated twice within the first weeks. She was quite flaky but it worked out. However dates went good. With cudlling, kissing on second date.

She seems to be submissive, defensive and a bit shy. But i might be wrong with that. However after the second date and the kiss things went different. She never commited to a date but kept contact.

I tried to setup a third date for two weeks. She was on vacation for one week of these. We already had time set where she wanted to come to my place before her vacation. However she verified the time one hour before the date but cancelled half an hour later due to her friends car broke and they need to get it fixed ASAP for the vacation next day and bla. (this was super weird, however she called me to cancel and excuse this time. Something she never did before)

She wanted to reschedule for after the vacation on phone but I told her I don't know when I'm free next week and we gonna text. I didnt text her after that anymore. However she texted me after 3-4 days

After that it went on for another 2-3 weeks. She kept initiating after a couple of days with questions like "How was your weekend", etc. But never committed to meet up and never made time. (I always kept texting low and focused on logistics)

I then wrote her I sth like "Hey listen, You dont seem to want to meet up. I want to see you but the way you keep dodging is exhausting. Im out." (A bit longer though) After one week she answered with "Sry, alot of stuff was happening and shes usually not behaving this way. She wants to meet me too. But she understands if I don't want anymore, but would be glad if I give her another chance." I told her jokingly alright but no sweets this time. Last chance and that im free on friday.

She did not answer yet and I think she now blocked me. (At least I suddenly cannot see her profile pic anymore)

My retro:

  • I tried to be low effort and get her out of her leaned back attitude in the end. I proposed half a dozen things to do with her the weeks before but she kept flaking before.
  • Im pretty sure that she tried to keep me as an orbiter after the second date. That's why she reinitiated contact but we never met again. She was most likely on a maybe attitude and the effort I would have needed to put in to turn her would be not worth it. (I remember reading the "Fuck yes, or fuck no" attitude from Manson and tried to apply.)

=> I think overall I was too much invested and didn't put up the breaks early enough. But in resume it was fine. Need to go after the next one. However these constant ups and downs and the way she rejected in the end pull me down. It makes me fucking angry. If she just said no, she doesn't like me it would me so much better. I think i need to eat more of these to get used to it. I am having maybe 1 date per year which is stupidly low. But I am working on that.