Every time I am talking to somebody I tend to start thinking "fuck he holds absolutely zero frame, I can tell him whatever a bullshit and he will eat that" or "she is fucking dumb and is laughing at some unfunny jokes" or "why are you laughing, what was so funny about this generic remark, come on, why the fuck are you so shallow", "you don't say, dumbass"

I know how edgelord it seems but fuck, I don't want to become a backward monkey who communicates with memes or worships the same time wasters people my age idolize so much. I don't want to get shitfaced and start boring conversations about who did what with whom last time they met.

Never would I regard myself exceptional or superior to other people but things people commonly do often look like a prelude to the Idiocracy movie. I'm fed up with all this bullshit and every time I go out into the city with my only buddy (and meet people through his friends mostly) I always come back home suicidal and depressed over the fact that I feel so alone and unfitting to the society.

Any help please? Do you have any idea how to free the mind and maybe broaden the pool of people to go out in the night with? Every comment appreciated.