Some people just never learn. Divorcing after 16 years of marriage and this is some BP's advice.

Axotl · 2014-06-16T15:58:03+00:00

This is why the author is divorced and single.

Women may agree with the list but we all know that it's important to remember that what they say they want & what they actually want isn't usually the same thing. "Where are all the nice guys?" is an example.

It's a safe, boring and blithe list that will do nothing to inflame passions in a relationship. It's meek and submissive.

deepsouthscoundrel · 2014-06-16T16:01:13+00:00

5) It’s not your job to change or fix her… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

(emphasis mine)

Oh, of course! It's so simple! I'll just change my standards to fit what she becomes!

If she becomes a 200lb landwhale: love her for it! If she becomes an abusive alcoholic/druggie: love her for it! If she becomes a cheating whore: love her for it! If she refuses to work ever again and forces you to support her: love her for it!

Sure, that sounds like great advice for saving a marriage. And all I have to do is sacrifice my standards for what I want in a partner. Freakin' genius.

Fuck that. I will not pedestalize marriage as this man does. If a woman does not meet my standards then I will not marry her. If no woman ever meets my standards then I will not marry. At no point will I ever, ever lower my standards for the sake of "saving" a marriage, because I refuse to be married to someone that I no longer respect.

(edit: typos)

Edit2: This article obviously comes from a man without Game and without Abundance Mentality. It would make perfect sense for a man to jump through all of these hoops to save a marriage (while expecting no effort in return from the woman, because men, this is "your charge"), IF that man believes he can only secure sex through commitment, or if he believes that woman is "special", "the one" for him, or he can never do better.

deepsouthscoundrel · 2014-06-16T17:00:44+00:00

[permanently deleted]

WTF7777777 · 2014-06-16T16:31:41+00:00

YEAH that article was definitely written by a woman. I'll go into more detail in the future. But here's my take on why marriage is a farce:

5 kids from 3 paying BABY DADDIES !!!!? There's no incentive for a woman to stay married to one man. She can simply collect child support from multiple men. One loses a job, ends up in jail cuz he can't pay his child support ? No worries. There's 2 more paying baby daddies. What risk does the woman bear in having babies ? Does she risk jail time for non payment of child support ? No. What penalty does she pay for having the 5th child she can't support on her own ? More and more government services. Where's the financial aid for fathers that can't afford to pay child support ? Watch the new Docu-movie Divorce Corp. by Dr. Drew, trailer is on Youtube. Also listen to Tom Leykis on Youtube and the manwomanmyth channel as well. Tell 10 friends to tell 10 friends.

Relationships fizzle. Why ? (from dictionary.com) FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT The better we know people, the more likely we are to find fault with them. Long experience of someone or something can make one so aware of the faults as to be scornful. For example, Ten years at the same job and now he hates it familiarity breeds contempt . The idea is much older, but the first recorded use of this expression was in Chaucer's Tale of Melibee (c. 1386). So divorce happens.

zpatriarchy · 2014-06-16T18:52:02+00:00

this nonsense list was published on the good mangina project so that should let you know how terrible it is.

downhillride · 2014-06-16T15:48:53+00:00

This was posted by some girl on my Facebook feed and the chicks are all agreeing how important all of these are

HAMMURABl · 2014-06-16T17:48:26+00:00

it's like the bluepill beta who fails a shittest and concludes his failure is due to not having responded nicely enough.

rps1990 · 2014-06-16T19:54:41+00:00

He almost gets one thing right:

"Allow your woman to just be. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok."

But he ruins it with

"Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere."

I find she doesn't want to hear your opinion or thoughts, she often just wants to be able to talk it out. Just pour her a drink, let her finish crying and give her a firm hug drawing her in. There is no need to say anything

BluepillProfessor · 2014-06-18T18:16:22+00:00

CAUTION: This is a 1500 word response that includes most of the original text of the article with the proper Red Pill answer. I could not resist. Enjoy.

edit: Auto-correct shows different numbering than on my screen. Oh well. Nothing is perfect.

Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

RED PILL RESPONES: Never stop seducing. Never stop instigating, initiating, and escalating. Own her tingles and you will own her.

Protect your own heart. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

RED PILL RESPONSE: Never EVER put your wife on a pedestal. Treat her like a kid sister most of the time. Only show her affection if she is behaving as you desire.

Fall in love over and over again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

RED PILL RESPONSE: Make her fall in love with your dominance and frame over and over again. Be the rock, be relentless, but stoic, and calm. Fuck her good and blow her mind. Game her and make her love you as you did when you were first courting (and your game was the strongest).

Always see the best in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

RED PILL RESPONSE: if she denies sex or becomes a bitch/fat/overbearing/unfeminine IMMEDIATELY call her out and don’t be afraid to use the hard Dread if necessary. Only reward her with your attention/positive frame/emotional support if she is behaving the way you need and desire.

It’s not your job to change or fix her… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

RED PILL RESPONSE: It is your job to set the boundaries of the relationship and her behavior. A woman will behave precisely as badly as you let her. Do not EVER put up with disrespect and if she changes for the worse and gets fat/ugly/boring/lazy do not put up with that either.

Take full accountability for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

RED PILL REPONSE: Finally got one right but we would add it is not YOUR job to make your wife happy. Make yourself happy and she will follow your positive, dominant frame.

Never blame your wife…..

RED PILL RESPONSE: Always hold your wife accountable….

Allow your woman to just be. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

RED PILL RESONSE: This is not awful advice. Women need emotional venting and affection, especially just before and during shark week but it is your job to redirect your woman into something positive and productive after a short time of this behavior.

Be silly… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

RED PILL RESPONSE: Being the clown is rewarding but far less so than being the seducer. Make her tingle and everything else is so damn easier.

Fill her soul everyday… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

RED PILL RESPONSE: Fuck her every day. Cum inside her and fill up her body as often as possible. Make her feel like a used up piece of property that is owned by you and she will be yours forever.

Be present. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

RED PILL RESPONSE: Give her the value of your time in return for what you value. Always be clear minded, masculine, stoic, and rational whether you are with your betrothed or otherwise.

Be willing to take her sexually, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

RED PILL RESPONSE: Finally!

Don’t be an idiot…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

RED PILL RESPONSE: OK

Give her space… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

RED PILL RESPONSE: Give yourself space. You work hard for the family. Do NOT give your wife space so she can “fly from your branches.” Did this divorce chode SERIOUSLY write that bit of poetic irony?

Be vulnerable… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

RED PILL RESPONSE: Be the MAN. Be masculine, stoic, logical, calm, collected, competent and strong. Acknowledge mistakes ONLY in the context of how you are fixing it and never speak of it again (or allow it to be brought up).

Be fully transparent. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING…

RED PILL RESPONSE: Do NOT share your fears and feelings with your wife…ever. Listen and encourage her to share hers.

Never stop growing together…

RED PILL RESPONSE Never stop leading and directing her growth and yours….

Don’t worry about money. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

RED PILL RESPONSE: Tingles > $$. Focus on what works and leverage that.

Forgive immediately…

RED PILL RESPONSE: Hold accountable but don’t hold on to grudges or bring up past mistakes except as a neg.

Always choose love. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

RED PILL RESPONSE: Love will always endure…except when it doesn’t. Always choose tingles over sappy love sonnets and have the Dread ready to serve.

Title	Some people just never learn. Divorcing after 16 years of marriage and this is some BP's advice.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	15
Date	June 16, 2014 3:48 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/28acku/some_people_just_never_learn_divorcing_after_16/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/some-people-just-never-learn-divorcing-after-16.229564 https://theredarchive.com/post/229564

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