Women's activist group to train male bears not to 'abandon' single mothers

dan_fletcher · 2014-04-18T05:22:30+00:00

Society is moving beyond parody.

At this rate, The Onion will just say "fuck it" and become a real news source within the decade.

[deleted] · 2014-04-18T02:53:54+00:00

It's gotta be great to have so much free time on your hands you can worry about bear family dynamics.

On the next episode: Will she use her free time to learn a marketable skill or complain about the gender pay gap?

[deleted] · 2014-04-18T05:55:15+00:00

I need a source.. the 40k from the government has to be a joke

shua2189 · 2014-04-18T11:04:59+00:00

First they'd have to stop this guy.

[deleted] · 2014-04-18T15:19:42+00:00

Headline: Women's Activist Group Eaten By Male Bears!!!

goscuter1 · 2014-04-18T09:07:28+00:00

40k a year salary going to some women who failed to get her husband to stay loyal, so instead she is going to train a... male bear to stay with a female? When their entire evolutionary process (correct me if I'm wrong on bear biology) is that male bears always abandon the mothers due to a need to keep searching for his own food / future mates. It's essential to the bear species, if a bear stayed with the female bear and played house in some cave until he died, there would be not enough breeding to keep these endangered species alive. Plus, the mate-n-go programming is there because bears are territorial and age quickly, meaning there is no benefit to there being a male and female, and then their grown-ass cubs like this is Modern Family. Plus, any given territory only has so much food. You put a fatass bear couple together in the same hood of the taiga for example, and there's a higher likelihood that there's just not enough to forage. Since the dominant impulse of bears after / equal to sex is to fatten themselves up enough for their hibernation, abandoning single mothers is best for both parties.

It's just beyond moronic and probably feels like weird Clockwork Orange type therapy for the bear. And it doesn't help conservation / protection of endangered species in the slightest. And it doesn't advance our understanding on human psychology or sociology in any way whatsoever, because we aren't fucking bears. Why the government would give tax money to this is beyond me.

What is interesting, however, is how single mother bears are 10x the parents that most single moms are. They feed and train their young until they can fend for themselves, neither spoiling them or being absent. They don't do it for validation or to feel good about themselves; they do not cripple the cubs development so the cub has to stay in the nest. They will defend their cubs and provide (masculine role) as well as nurture / teach (feminine). In short, they truly "don't need no man."

It is a shame that the people paid to study bears in this group probably won't learn a goddamn thing from them.

hashtagpound2point2 · 2014-04-18T08:06:20+00:00

The post is a year and a half old. No way this is real, would have gotten way more media traction at the time.

[deleted] · 2014-04-18T06:26:18+00:00

Please... someone! Anyone!!! Help us!!!

These bitches have had so much free time making the lives of men miserable, they're moving onto other creatures. FUCK!!!

PUTIN!! SAVE YOUR PEOPLE!!! [cuz bears on unicycles are Russians]

[deleted] · 2014-04-18T08:32:50+00:00

[permanently deleted]

slcjosh · 2014-04-18T17:14:59+00:00

This has got to be a joke.

iseeyou1312 · 2014-04-18T07:42:38+00:00

This is too much to bear.

[deleted] · 2014-04-18T09:09:23+00:00

Hope they get mauled to death.

[deleted] · 2014-04-18T08:26:23+00:00

This isn't fake!????

there are only 3 things between bears and higher primates, opposable thumbs, a more developed brain and social structure/parent child information exchange. Trying to apply the family model to any other creature is only making more competition for humanity.

I suppose they'll move on to providing professional nursing care to female octopuses and their young next, we'll be in a world of trouble then because they have high intelligence and the capacity for communication if octopus mothers didn't die shortly after childbirth they would have already developed language and tribal societies.

I'm taking this about as seriously as I can; I sure hope it hits the news when these idiots get mauled.

veyron1001 · 2014-04-18T12:33:40+00:00

http://i.imgur.com/himZD0M.gif

Title	Women's activist group to train male bears not to 'abandon' single mothers
Author	goscuter1
Upvotes	29
Comments	23
Date	April 18, 2014 2:34 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/23bq27/womens_activist_group_to_train_male_bears_not_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/womens-activist-group-to-train-male-bears-not-to.230300 https://theredarchive.com/post/230300

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