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4 second rule: science behind some push/pull technique

djinnitek
October 22, 2013
14 upvotes
/r/TheRedPill
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Post Information
Title 4 second rule: science behind some push/pull technique
Author

djinnitek
Upvotes 14
Comments 7
Date October 22, 2013 8:47 PM UTC
(12 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1p02pp/4_second_rule_science_behind_some_pushpull/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/4-second-rule-science-behind-some-pushpull.232754
https://theredarchive.com/post/232754
Red Pill terms in post
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Comments

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Commenting here because I couldn't figure out how to put text in with the link post.

Showed up in a sub today; of course most of the comments were from anxious teenagers and young adults confessing how awkward they in fact were. notice that the article itself mentions studies done on undergrads (read: generally young and insecure people). However, if you are not insecure, social dynamics are more interesting than our feelings of awkwardness. Accepting findings such as these on the effect of pauses in conversation allows us to understand how to best run game, down to timing push/pull plays, or validation, for the best effect.

Your thoughts are welcome!

ps- sorry about the potentially inappropriate flair, it should have [GAME] as a topic :/

[–]dandsed1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

So, you're saying we should purposely pause for 4 seconds after some girl says something? Because I see that likely backfiring when the girl hamsters that you're the awkward one.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

The idea behind push/pull is to take them down, then bring them up, taking their center (pardon the marital arts terms) and then making their sense of esteem/happiness follow your frame. Awkward pauses can be used to great effect in this.

And yes, pausing while looking someone in the eye, as though you are trying to figure out if what they just said makes sense at all and how to best respond to their non-sense is a great way to make them question themselves. And then you bring them back in by smoothly continuing as though it never happened. They're back in sync after that period of despair, and yes, it makes them happy, because you validated them in their moment of insecurity. Now you are setting the pace of the conversation. To be used only after rapport has been established, of course.

If you are going to use the pause, don't look at your shoes as though you can't figure out what to say next because you are awkward. Hold your frame.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Nice explanation. Noob here who hasn't swallowed TRP yet. I was wondering how this article relates to the game. Your explanation just taught me a lot! Thanks!

[–]fuk_offe0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Will try this the next time I'm taking coffee with some gal. Thanks!

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Push/pull is simply a rapport break followed by rebuilding comfort. The harsher the rapport break and/or the longer you wait to rebuild comfort, the more comfort is required to smooth things over and get the desired effect.

[–]yea_tht_dnt_go_there0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

In my experience the first one to break the silence is the one that feels most uncomfortable. So if you want to break out something controversial, make sure you have a way to diffuse a silence if it occurs.

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