I had a big argument with my wife yesterday after getting caught.

We have been married 12 years. The last 3-4 years we been kinda distant and turbulent in our relationship. Normal arguing over everyday things. Kids, money occasionally, family issues, etc.

The past 3 years we have only had sex about 5 times, and all due to my initiating. She has been declining sex from me for what I feel are stupid selfish reasons. Theres a tv program on, she wants to lie in bed with the dog, shes mad at me for this and that, etc.

I run a business and provide for her. About 8 months ago my frustrations and developed porn addiction over this had me at a break point. I know its wrong, but I began talking to a girl and texting her and calling her on teh phone for attention. Never had sex with the girl, never even met up with her. It was all digital. My wife caught me on the phone with her yesterday and it all ended.

I told my wife I was sorry for doing all this and do not want to end a marriage over it if that was what she was thinking, but I DID tell her WHY i did it. Because after initiation with her so many times and being declined, I took matters into my own hands.

Yes this was wrong what I did, but I DID go to my wife numerous times FIRST before going to this girl.

Did i cheat? Or take matters into my own hands due to neglection?