I'm 17, turning 18 late this year and have recently entered a relationship after a month of dating a 27M that we're going to refer to as Glasses. I will proceed to tell you a bit about how we met, Glasses, me and summarize everything else. This will be a longish post, my apologies but due to the fact I have no strong motherly, or woman figure in my life I need your advice.

I met Glasses after I signed up for a dating app (lying about my age) and started going on multiple first dates to practice my conversational skills. I have great social skills, but like with everything there is always room for improvement.. plus combined the instant gratification you get from matching with a lot of men is quite a rush. Prior to going on a date Glasses I had been on a few first dates, none of which I slept with or even really contacted further.. although I have had a few regretted one night stands and a couple 'casual' things that one i developed feelings for which in return hella hurt me and the rest I got bored with so ended them. So, I from first hand experience I know I'm not interested in any casual sex or flings anymore.. I did not go on a date with Glasses with this intent though. Me and Glasses briefly messaged before he was eager to grab coffee, I agreed and we set a time and a date.

When I first walked into the cafe and greeted him in my head I was wowed. His photos online weren't the most flattering, but in person I found him attractive. In short, me and him really connected and we both didnt want the date to end. He asked if he could take me back to his place, I agreed and he said he'd drop me off home even though it's a 30 minute drive if I so wished. I made sure to clarify to him that I dont sleep with men on the first date, he said that's fine. We ended up going back to his and watching a movie. We had previously spoken about smoking weed and he admitted he was a functional stoner, and I've smoked weed plenty before so during the movie we got stoned together. The cuddling was like something I've never felt before, I told glasses this. He asked if I've ever cuddled with the intent of it just being sensual or something to lead to sex, I said only lead to sex. Whilst cuddling he made a few jokes about walking around naked in his flat and the guys being jealous, and I got the joke.. I have a huge thing for guys with big dicks, I'm not even going to lie. So I decided to sleep with him, I still dont really have any major regrets because it did feel right at the time emotionally and physically. He was so kind and caring too. I told him the next day I was 17, severely apologetic and tried to explain myself. He was shocked, told me to never lie to him again but he'll move past it. That was about a month ago and ever since then we have been seeing eachother 2-4 times a week, all in which I go stay the night at his (our work schedules collide and I work where hes located but live about 1.5 hours public transport away.. so it makes sense), we have sex, cuddle and talk.

A bit about Glasses: Glasses is 27M and works in hospitality. He was in a longterm relationship which ended one or a couple years ago, so he's still a bit broken. He has said he wouldn't purposely pursue someone of my age and he's spoken about his dating struggles with women and how they always seem to ghost him. He has specified to me that he is not looking for anything too longterm (future planned together), but he doesn't do casual and that the age gap doesn't bother him too much. He likes having a connection, has warned me that he's quite emotional and that he's seeing a psychotherapist to work through his emotional issues. He has been the one that pushed being exclusive (he assumed we were exclusive from the first date until I brung it up 2 weeks into seeing eachother) and he asked me out. Glasses smokes A LOT of marijuana, to the point I'd call it an addiction and he doesnt live the most sustainable/forefilling lifestyle.. nothing extreme, but just simple. He doesn't have much of a direction either.

A bit about me: I am 17F, turning 18 late this year. I work in hospitality, currently am back living at home due to how hard is it finding a decent flat under 18 but have left school, was previously flatting in the city and started supporting myself not long after I turned 16 due to home life issues. I have a history of childhood trauma, abuse, daddy issues and mental health issues. I'm decently attractive, I'm nothing spectacular but definitely above average; I don't have trouble getting dates. I like to view myself as mature especially in comparison to my peers, but that's purely because of the trauma I experienced and environment I was placed under growing up. Of course I'm still young and inexperienced in many a ways though, at 17 who isn't.

So far things have gone pretty well, but I have seen some red flags that I need to address:

  • He wants to try anal with me but I'm not too keen, he has tried to play with my ass a few times to which I tell him to stop. One of the first things he said after he asked me to be his girlfriend a few nights ago was something along the lines of "now you're going to let your boyfriend fuck your ass right?". I was put on the spot and said yes, at a later date.. although I'm still not too keen.

  • I told him to film me giving him a blow job for fun once, but later while he was fucking me from behind he filmed that too. I called him out and told him he needs to ask. Now during sex he asks a lot to film, and for me to send him pictures/videos whenever I maturbate. Regrettably I have allowed him to film and have sent him what he's asked for. We both agreed to not show these to anyone, but hes also spoken about having a profile on a swingers website that apparently he "hasn't gone on in awhile" but I doubt that.

  • He speaks about having sex on hallucinogens/MDMA frequently. I have some experience in both forms of drugs but not during sex. I've told him maybe at a later date but he keeps mentioning it.

I have now brung up some of these feelings to him, I have told him to stop bringing these topics up and that I will tell him when/if I'm ready. I have also told him to delete all pornographhic photos/videos of me.

At first I thought he was just using me for sex, and it sometimes does seem like it. But, most of the time it does not. We enjoy eachothers company, are similar and have a few similar experiences in certain ways, etc. I don't think he's a bad person, I just need some advice.

If you'd like anymore information about anything, or would like to give me any advice. Please, please do. Thank you!