My curiosity is at war with the rest of me. A few months ago I found out about a young woman in her early 20s that maybe my biological daughter. Most people say this shouldn't be a big deal because you don't know for sure. But I have a gut instinct and she does look like the spitting image of me in female form. Against the advice of friends and mentors I reached out to this young woman via a letter an introduced myself. When she went to her mother / my ex things took a turn for the worse. My ex reacted by telling her I was not her father. She told her the man who is on her birth certificate and raised her from birth is her father. The young woman was told I was a crazy, violent ex bf who use to beat her mother. Since then the girl has scrubbed her online presence. It's sad that my ex now has her daughter living in fear with the stress of thinking some deranged stalker is out to get her.

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People say my contribution to her life means nothing. It's just a bit of dna, to think of myself as a sperm donor. My ex betrayed me twice. Her infidelity is what led to the end of our relationship and engagement. Now over 2 decades later I'm learning that I was betrayed again by being denied a relationship with my daughter. If she chooses never to respond to my letter it's due to the actions of both of her parents to remain ignorant. The man that raised her knew there was a possibility she wasn't his. He obviously didn't care and had no problem raising another man's child. I'm suppose to be happy he saved me from marrying my ex thus stopping me from making the biggest mistake of my life. I'm suppose to be happy he's done everything for her and continues to be there for her even after he divorced my ex.

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In my heart I know this child is mine. The pictures are worth more then a thousand words and everyone who's seem them know this is my kid. Now I must move forward knowing there is nothing more I can do. I can't undo the damage from the character assassination my ex drilled into this girls head. There is nothing left to reason with when communicating my ex. My desire to contact the man that raised her to see if he's willing to confirm her paternity status after all these years would not likely go well. There is literally nothing I can think of to settle this once and for all. I'm not making myself into a martyr. If I could choose to forget about this I would. I have to learn how to carry this knowledge of having a kid I will never know with me. Any advice would be appreciated.