So I masturbate everyday. Wake up with throbbing hard ons throughout the day. My penis won't even get fully soft. I need to sink my hard cock in women. I want to be this charismatic, cheeky, cocky, guy that women can't stand yet can't help but wanna fuck do to my severe confidence and unique personality.  Basically like my friend. 

Yet I knowingly made out with two trannies 4 years ago when I was taking SSRI which lowered my inhibition a ton.  I wasn't even into real sex then. I just liked kissing hot girls.
  I don't feel worthy of being a Casanova type slayer who SINKS my throbbing, cocky COCK into  peoples oneitis's and wives, girlfriends, as my nuts slaps on their feminine CIS asshole.

Her ass cheeks smacking and bouncing on each HARD thrust like her boyfriend never could. But I feel undeserving due to me kissing two mentally ill faggots in the past when I had a sissy fetish.

Should I give up honestly and become a cuck. OR will Caber and Mushrooms cure this by Dopamine maxing, Lowering Cortisol taking away any shame or OCD and making me low inhibitioned af.  PLZ ANSWER OR I DIE