LTRs. We want to set boundaries for our women, have then understand what is unacceptable, and have them understand the consequences for violating these boundaries.

However, I like to hold my cards close my sleeve, not be judgmental at all, so I get as much unfiltered information from her as possible. If she knows I don't like ABC, and knows the are consequences for it, she will never tell me she did ABC.

How do we set these boundaries without scaring them off from being honest with us?