Introduction

In the wild, a rhesus macaque monkey (lets call him Joe) is eyeing a fruit. He also sees another monkey (lets call him Bert) also eyeing it. They move to fight for it. The fight is fierce, too fierce for just a piece of fruit. Eventually Joe wins and Bert scurries away. Joe eats the fruit. The next day, the same situation unfolds and there is another fight. Joe wins again and gets the fruit. The day after, Joe simply looks at Bert and Bert decides not to fight. He performs a submissive gesture, which in case of rhesus macaque monkeys is to bare their teeth (smile) and scurries away. Joe eats the fruit without a fight. Soon, Joe will not even have to look at Bert. He simply goes and picks up the fruit. At this point, Joe and Bert have a stable dominance relationship. Joe is said to be dominant over Bert and Bert is said to be submissive to Joe.

Hierarchies

Since dominance is an attribute of the relationship between two individuals, a person A can be dominant over a person B who in turn can be dominant over a person C. This leads to the formation of stable hierarchies. The military is an excellent example of a stable hierarchy in humans. The junior officer salutes the superior officer as a gesture of submission. The superior officer accepts the salute. The deeper the hierarchy, the more formal the rules of submission and rank recognition need to be. Corporations are also deep hierarchies while small groups of friends are shallow hierarchies. Hierarchies are stable when all members gain something from it. Hence an astute person will develop the people under him, gaining their gratitude and support while also learning from his superior. When the time comes for someone to step aside or otherwise move on, the best under him will replace him, keeping the hierarchy stable.

Dominance in the human world

In the animal world, the primary goals of food, sex and prime spots to rest are all settled by violence and the most violent and strong individual is at the top of the rank. In social animals such as the rhesus macaque, the number of your kin also figure in your ability to win a fight but violence is still the arbiter.

In the human world, very few situations call for explicit violence. Formalized combat sports/bouncers are a few obvious ones. Therefore, dominance is also a characteristic of the kind of activity where you compete. Bubba may dominate everyone over strength, but Sven may dominate when it comes to winning the affection of a particular lady and Tony may dominate a game of poker in the same group of friends.

The dominant man

While dominance is an attribute of a relationship between competing actors in a specific arena, some individuals dominate in the most visible arenas or they dominate in several arenas. These persons are naturally dominant and are usually seen as the alpha male of the group (yes, women can dominate in a few female centric activities, buts lets leave that aside for now). Some of these men will turn into naturals while many will simply be high value betas because they have no idea how to deal with women.

The rise of the dominant man

Dominance is a result of conflict and repeated wins. A man has to be superior to the point of being in a class of his own to dominate. I and my friends can golf ok but if Tiger Woods decide to play with my buddies he will clearly dominate us. However, such clear-cut situations are rare. Knowing when to engage in conflict and when to acquiesce superiority and offer support requires confidence in your judgement of another's ability. A confident person engages in conflict when the probability of a win is very high and avoids conflict when the chances are low. Between them is a grey area. The narrower the grey area, the higher your survival value. Repeated successes increase testosterone. Repeated losses deplete it. Its your body's natural response to lower your aggressiveness to keep you alive.

Signs of Dominance

How do you know if someone is dominant? The key sign of dominance is submissive gestures by others. In some settings, these signs are formalized. In many court rooms for example, everyone rises when the judge arrives. The judge dominates the court-room and his power totally overwhelms everyone else in that setting. In less formal situation, you can still see some signs of submission. Everyone smiles/rises when you arrive. Everyone listens to you with full attention and without interruption when you speak. When there is a discussion and there is a pause, heads turn naturally to the dominant person to see if they have something to say. When someone is telling a story or presenting a case, regardless of who the main audience is, heads turn to the dominant one when there is a pause. Dominant people get a lot of attention. When you act, everyone stops paying attention to whatever else was going on and starts paying attention to you. Its pretty hard to miss once it starts happening to you.

Male dominance and women

There is nothing, absolutely nothing else in this world that turns women on more than a dominant man. When you approach, she's already smiling. When you talk, she has big eyes and she's at ease yet excited because she feels like she already knows you (because everyone talks about you). When you ask her out, its an automatic yes. There are no shit tests on a dominant man. She is willing and eager and minimal or no resistance to escalation. Things just happen. The way a group of women's eyes follow you as you pass is so obvious that you would need to be blind not to see it.

Its all about Dominance

All the signs and requirements of TRP and game are easily met by dominance. Pre-selection? Dominance. Leader of men? Dominance. Man with options? Dominance. Stoic? Dominance. You can't even think of shaking the frame of a dominant man. He does not care what anyone thinks because he's in a class of his own. Just as Tiger Woods would grin and ignore your commentary on his golf drive or selection of clubs.

The only problem is that by definition, not everyone can be dominant. You would need to constantly work on yourself and get better and better everyday. You would need to engage in conflict and rise consistently. This is why you need a mission where you work on tirelessly and laser-focused so you can dominate that field. It takes hard work and years to rise.

Interestingly, men are generally superior to women to be sufficiently in a higher class. Physical strength/intelligence/strategic ability/symbol processing/logical thinking etc. Therefore you should never show gestures of submission to a woman. Let her smile first, you can smile to accept (like a salute). Lead with your strength. Punish challenges by ignoring her. Compliments and praises are a sign of submission and I urge everyone not to engage in it when you first meet anyone (man or woman). You should flip it around and give compliments as rewards for good behavior.