What caused the recent surge of emotions policing?

[deleted] · 2016-07-11T03:28:39+00:00

I cannot relate to anything you are describing. No one has ever 'policed' my emotional state(s), nor told me that I was expressing myself inappropriately in my personal life.

Are you encountering this issue online, in your personal life, or both? Online interactions can be so skewed/distorted (for many reasons) and I really don't think anyone should define their personality/character by what happens via online interaction.

It's much more concerning if the people you interact with frequently offline are telling you these things.

[deleted] · 2016-07-11T03:51:21+00:00

jesus christ. is PPD being used as a livejournal now? save your feels for /r/offmychest.

tomuchtrouble · 2016-07-11T03:02:02+00:00

Civilised society. If a women is capable of treating her boss, coworkers, customers etc with respect then why would any man let the person that is supposed to love them act that way.

People get fired for behavior in the work place that people seem to want to give a free ride to if it happens in a relationship. Shit is fucked up in my opinion.

sublimemongrel · 2016-07-11T04:05:32+00:00

Nobody is "forcing" you to act like an adult if you insist on not acting that way. But expect that you will get treated accordingly by the people surrounding you and by society if you act inappropriately for the context/circumstance precipitating your behavior.

That being said, I don't think it's wrong to express emotions - but there's a time and a place. Most adults understand this and are capable of expressing emotions appropriately.

I'm also not quite sure what you're asking - for permission to engage in poor, reactionary behavior because someone was insulting you?

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[deleted] · 2016-07-11T04:08:35+00:00

You can do all of that just like I can tell you to shut the fuck up for acting like an emotionally unstable 8 year old. You having the right to do those things doesn't simultaneously take away another's right to call you out.

If you're having issues with people doing this, it's your fault, not theirs. Chill out and you won't get "emotion policing".

Apexk9 · 2016-07-11T04:24:18+00:00

So you'll act like a child because you can't be a civil mature adult?

statsfodder · 2016-07-11T05:16:15+00:00

"I will shout you down" ... but a male doing the same is abusive, right?

hakosua · 2016-07-11T10:57:58+00:00

I haven't seen a recent surge in "emotions policing" at all. I do like that term though. Could we apply it to the phenomenon where listeners hold speakers responsible for the emotional responses that they engender while demanding that these emotions be validated? In other words, could we call it emotional policing when I assert that the stranger who hurt my feelings is obligated to empathize with my negative emotional response?

Members of the manosphere tend to see this as an SJW tendency. While I do believe SJWs (myself included) are particularly predisposed to this, and that we're especially upfront and aggressive in this respect, I also believe that the manosphere and, more generally, the alt-right, are likewise preoccupied with their own negative emotional responses -- they just hamster more aggressively.

Overall, if we define "emotional policing" as the tendency to prioritize one's own subjective negative emotional responses and demand that others do likewise, it seems like those on either end of the political spectrum are especially susceptible. This makes sense: if I'm a middle-of-the-road sort of person, then I'm less likely to be offended because the dominant narrative is more likely to match my views; and, when I am offended, I'm less likely to have my offense dismissed or invalidated. SJWs and the alt-right police because we encounter more opportunities to police.

For those who continue to think that the phenomenon that I described above is solely an SJW thing, I propose a test: think of the article or essay you hated most this year of all the articles and essays you read. How much did you hate it (on a scale of one to ten)? How important was it to you personally that others understand why and how much you thought the article or essay was bullshit (again, on a scale of one to ten)? The higher your ratings for hatred and importance of communicating hatred, the more you police emotionally. Just keep in mind: I score pretty high myslef.

Title	What caused the recent surge of emotions policing?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	32
Date	July 11, 2016 2:51 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4s8t96/what_caused_the_recent_surge_of_emotions_policing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-caused-the-recent-surge-of-emotions-policing.274086 https://theredarchive.com/post/274086

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