Everything that I’ve read in TRP is against being non-needy & maintaining the frame that you are the prize via dread, not being overly available, not investing too much emotion or time.

However, I’ve been experimenting with anger/being controlling as two opposite ends of the spectrum and for whatever reason it seems to create more trust/investment???

Example:

Girl I have banged got home from work and didn’t text me until the next day.

I asked why she didn’t message me after work the night before. She said she didn’t think I would be waiting on her text/I was busy.

I said that if investing one second of her time to send a message was too much we could stop talking.

She started blowing up my phone. I hit her back with one word responses before going cold. Cut to today, she was messaging me throughout her shift last night, tried to call me after, messaged me again this morning to see me.

I’ve been doing the exact same thing to another one of my plates, simply starting fights and going cold, and then rewarding validation seeking behaviour with love.

I’ve used this to break past any boundaries and basically burn her frame to the ground.

She now sends me nudes every night before sleeping, texts me good morning/night, doesn’t ignore messages for hours because I blew up on her for not doing these things.

I also have all of her social media access/she’ll do anything I want in the bedroom.

Yet any time she pushes back on the frame, I can simply deflect and move on.

When speaking with my plate, she said, “I know you fight with me like this because you care a lot about me.”

She also has moments where she’ll say, ‘it’s very hard being with you.’

Which I again ignore or agree and amplify.

When I look at my behaviour it seems extremely needy and controlling. Yet once they accepted the frame it just became the same cycle over and over like pet training.

Any thoughts on this?