I spent pretty much all of my teenage years as a complete social and romantic outcast. I've never had a group of friends, and I've never even hugged a girl before. As a result, I've developed a severe outcast mentality when it comes to relationships.

I'm so used to being the odd one out that I genuinely can't imagine myself having friends or touching a girl in a sexual way. My self-esteem is so low that I basically view sex as something that is meant for other people. Essentially I feel like I am so subhuman that I don't even feel like I am worthy to breathe the same air as an attractive woman.

My self-esteem doesn't just effect my relationships, it effects every aspect of my life. I quit playing sports because I felt I wasn't good enough to be on the team, and I procrastinate on my school assignments because I feel like I'm not smart enough to understand them.

I'm 18 and in my first semester of college, so I want to turn my around while I still have my entire life ahead of me. It just feels so hopeless. I feel like I'm trapped at the bottom of a well with no way to escape.