Im 18 im still in highschool, when i was younger i was bullied allot, im still a virgin really, i found the red pill 3 years ago but i cant gather enough courage because my social anxiety is too high, i feel bad all the time and i feel like my body language is very submissive, i tend to be really worried about what my friends think about me and really care about them, recently ive been having dreams of getting gang banged by my bullies and having dreams of getting cucked by my bullies where my gf is my crush... i dont know whats wrong with me, i feel like i should just commit suicuide, nothing could be worse than this and i feel like im not a man .