I got a lot of good help and info on another sub, but had a few to look into this one as well so here I am.

So this is a long story and I’m sorry up front. Also throwaway account just FYI.

So this all started about a month ago. My (24M) Wife (23F) and I were having sexy time and I finished. I couldn’t get her to finish. She has always had trouble finishing. Even if I try to give her oral, she just pushes me away and tells me to skip to regular intercourse. It’s like she has no patience if she can’t cum instantly. Tried toys too and they help but aren’t a guarantee. Well finally she got annoyed and said we need to get more experience to be better for each other. We were each others first everything. So we agreed to give each other a hall pass. And at first it was great! We were both happy and almost more turned on by the idea of each other being with someone else! Even tried some “role-play” where we called each other a name of someone we thought was hot. Problem is my jealousy started kicking in after she actually got with someone. I thought I could but turns out I couldn’t stand the idea of my wife being with someone else. And of course She had no problems finding someone for a one night stand from her work. I of course had more issues since I can’t just send a “come over” text to someone. Long story short we agreed we’d stop trying to get with anyone else. (I never was with anyone else for what it’s worth)

Ever since then she’s been getting kinda distant. I’ve been begging her to tell me how I can make her happy. She tells me she’s sick of feeling like she’s raising two kids, (we have a 7 month old daughter) and wants me to grow up more. I honestly don’t know what I did wrong in that category. I work 12 hour days at the plant so when I come home I am with my daughter (wife works second shift) and once she goes to bed I may play a video game for a while but then I go to bed. I guess she’s annoyed that I also don’t always do house hold chores without her asking. Ok fair enough, I’ll do more and help out more! Well even with helping as much as I can around the house she still seems distant. When I ask her again about what’s bothering her that’s when she said “I’m just not really in it right now” and “I still love you, but I just don’t think of you as my lover...” these are quotes from a text she sent recently. She also said “You’re not trying with your health”, and just in general “the more frustrated she gets with me the more she distances herself.”

Little backstory about my wife herself, she’s a foster child, been bounced around a lot, had her mom die of cancer when she was around 7 and her dads been in and out of prison. She had to basically raise her 3 brothers. Also had an issue with abuse (mentally and physically) from her Grandpa who she lived with for quite a while. She did also tell me in that text that she “has some stuff she needs to figure out about herself”

Anyways tonight she is going to a concert (of an artist I introduced her too) with a girlfriend from her work. I jokingly reminded her to take her engagement ring and her wedding band to keep the crazy guys away. All she replied was “stop” and when I said I was joking and I didn’t mean to make her mad she said “stop always assuming I’m mad!” Well now I look in her night stand and her rings are setting in a drawer. My brain wants me to think she just forgot them, after all she didn’t go to work today and cleaned the house, but my heart thinks she did it on purpose.

I starting sobbing when I realized they were still here, and it’s what made me decide to finally post on here.

What should I do? Is there anything I can do to fix this? Should I basically get ready for her to leave me? God damnit I’m trying but it feels like she isn’t right now. I can’t live without her. Is it a phase she’s going through after having the baby where she’s rebellious and wants to hang out with her friends more than me? Especially since she basically didn’t have a child hood. Maybe I suggest we go back to the hall pass thing and suck it up? If she’s happy then she wouldn’t leave me right?

Also for the record she still does act like she loves me most of the time. Cuddling in bed at night, saying I love you, kissing me when I go to work or vice-versa...so I’m confused and scared I’m losing my wife.

Thanks, sorry for the length...

Side note: one of our biggest stressors right now is money. Bills and what not. So I’ve been working a bunch of OT to help with that. She did say one time once we get caught up on bills she thinks it’ll get better