I seriously need some guidance, I'm very confused, and feeling lost af.

I'm 25. I've been blue pilled when it comes to women for a long time. Only this year, I've truly started to injest the Red Pill.

I've had girlfriends, I fucked a few women on the side here and there, but nothing to write home about. Even though I have some experience, I wouldn't consider myself better off than any of the virgins who come here for help.

Right now I'm coming out of a 2 year slump. I was practically bedridden and doing nothing with my life aside from jacking my stuff and playing video games. Dark times. Very dark.

I got a job in April and since then I've been gradually bettering myself. I've made friends with better men, I'm lifting 4 - 5 times a week, and my life has improved a whole lot in a plethora of ways.

But not when it comes to women. Basically what's happening is, I'm extremely bitter and hateful. I can't help but just have his seething hatred towards any girl I'd gladly take up as girlfriend.

What broke me was what happened yesterday. I went out with a couple of friends and this cute bartender started flirting with me, ME, out of all the rich fuckers over there, she was giving ME attention. But here's where I am met with a mental block.

Basically the interaction went like this.

Girl asks me why I'm so serious with a cute ass smile, and those eyes locked on mine.

I then reply with this cold, but also flirty, "I'm mad at you"

She asks why also in this giggly, flirty way, and I don't answer her directly, and just turn my back on her and leave to drink and roll a doobie.

Basically, this chick is giving me a bunch of openings, and I see them, but I can't bring myself to play this fucking game. Why do I need to earn this cunt's adulation? She already has mine just for the basic fact that she's a cutie I'd marry. She has me without doing shit, but I have to be in this vulnerable, bullshit fucking position every time.

I know I'm fucked in the head. I know I am have this huge sense of entitlement.

I'm doing RP, I'm trying to learn, but fuck. I just can't get over this part. I can't believe that I have to bow down to attractive women, and not the other way around. It's retarded, but it's where my mind is at.

How do I overcome this?

Hope this post makes sense.