How does one go about establishing boundaries and expressing needs and requirements without straight talking?

Terdmuffin · 2019-12-15T13:34:23+00:00

The biggest thing is don't reward or commit to someone who does things that cross your boundaries often. For example if you don't want your ltr to post pictures showing off her ass in a bikini then don't date a chick who has a bunch of booty pics on insta from before you met her. The next thing is nipping problems in the bud with tact and no emotion. If you don't want your girl getting drinks with Kevin from accounting at happy hour after work, don't let it slide for 7 months and then get butthurt about it. The first time it happens voice your displeasure. If she keeps doing it then you two have very different views on how people should act in a relationship. The third thing is have options and be willing to walk away. If she knows you have no other options and won't leave her why wouldn't she walk all over you? Look up 12 levels of dread. IMO you should be operating naturally at level 8 BEFORE you get into a committed relationship. Dread is a very important thing. It shouldn't be something you think about or do to "punish" her. It should just be how you are.

WIA20XX · 2019-12-15T15:56:50+00:00

You need to read Black Dragon
You are having difficulty with the plates and next stuff, because you are not reading it from the source - Black Dragon. The Red Pill doesn't have a comprehensive practical guide to pulling chicks - it just copies and pastes from PUA and other sources.

The next/plate system is about no drama casual sex relationships. If she fucks up, you give her a timeout. But you also have other chicks in rotation, and you are actively pursuing new leads. If all you got is 1 chick, that is your girlfriend, whether you believe it or not.

Plates and time

The more time you spend with a chick, the more she gets attached (if you're a quality dude) and the more YOU get attached. You get a serious LTR only by spending time together.

Once a week, max. More than that, You are on the road to monogamy.

What do your truly want?
You need to define YOUR own code of behavior for what your boundaries are, what you're willing to do, and what lines she cannot cross.

Moving up the ranks

The first thing is that you don't even begin to give a fuck about her bullshit UNTIL she's a plate.

A chick that is a one night, a jump off (you just use her for your pleasure), a slump buster, etc - she doesn't get regular contact.

Three bangs = plate level 1 = fuck buddy (FB). You can't next a chick that has not invested her most valuable asset.

So all these broken boys talking about nexting a chick that they have not fucked are using Black Dragon's system wrong. She nexted them.

If the chick turns out to be cool past the sex, you reward that by moving her up to FWB Level 2, friends with benefits.

So you can buy dinner, have her over for Netflix. Talk about shit. Be friendly. At no point do you see her without fucking her. NO POINT.

So if you start to get more involved with a chick - she has to make you happier than 1) Your other plates. 2) the pleasure of new pussy.

This can't happen in a vacuum. The other teams need to show up if this girl is going to win your tournament.

Tools

She does the right thing - reward. More time with you, more attention. If you give her more emotion, more vulnerability, she is likely to push for monogamy, and you are likely to fold.
She fucks up something small - inform Tell the chick what's up. Some of your requirements are bound to be bullshit, but also not obvious. "Babe, I don't like pulp in my orange juice"
Next level fuck up - negative attention "That was fucked up, what you did"
Next level fuck up - soft next This is either she is messing up something previously discussed, or she SHOULD know she's fucking up.

So you let the chick be without you for a bit. Then you reinitiate like nothing happened.

If you explain shit, that leads to drama. She needs to figure shit out.

The goal is no drama, not a "healthy two sided vanilla" relationship.

Major fuck up - hard next Cheating, public and open disrespect, withdrawing sex to manipulate, etc.

Now if she learns her lesson after a hard next, allow her to come crawling back, and the sex is off the charts, she gets a permanent demotion to the level below.

Your ex girlfriend can only ever be a FWB. FWB can only be a FB.

Now if you feel the need to explain all of your requirements to the girl, you aren't looking for a no drama/spinning plates arrangement. That's a vanilla relationship and you need to do two things.

1) State your rules. 2) Enforce them.

If she says she wants to communicate, she really wants you to compromise your values.

Sometimes these chicks have a point, or you're fucking up. Apologize, change your behavior, and keep it moving.

Lot of girls want you to explain why SHE IS RIGHT. If the chick can't take a heartfelt apology without making you grovel - hard next, no chance for recovery.

If she's bringing up unrelated stuff or old stuff, the chick is not being honest with you. Some lingering grievance means she can't grow with you. Let her go.

jojojijo333 · 2019-12-15T17:51:13+00:00

You don't talk you show, and words don't mean shit when you don't follow through.

Title	How does one go about establishing boundaries and expressing needs and requirements without straight talking?
Author	sonofgoku123
Upvotes	1
Comments	7
Date	December 15, 2019 1:10 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/eayro0/how_does_one_go_about_establishing_boundaries_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-does-one-go-about-establishing-boundaries-and.299418 https://theredarchive.com/post/299418

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