Feeling bad

RedPillDetox · 2017-02-06T00:43:52+00:00

Unfortunelly this is what Red Pill does. Promises heaven and a formula to pick up girls but in the end it delivers hell, resulting in nothing but frustrated guys with intense fear to trust women. This is not aimed at blaming anyone, just an observation.

Anyway,

have you considered therapy? It could help you tremendously.
Become comfortable with being a virgin and become comfortable with being a weak man. It's okay. You're human and most people go through similar problems as you do about how "they are not good enough". I do too, really. If you do not feel comfortable alone you're going to crave a relationship just to surprass unhappiness. But this unhappiness will persits once in a relationship in some other way and you'll probably blame your partner. In fact, you mention yourself that you think that once you're in a relationship you will not trust your girlfriend and think she's only with you to use you. This is rooted on your very own feelings of inadequacy: You think you're not good enough and people's only interest in you is because they want something from you.

See, this is not even about sex. If you wanted sexual pleasure you can just pay a prostitute and try out sex and see how it feels and how awesome it (supposedly) is. It seems to me that your problem has to do with not feeling good enough. If it was about sex a hooker would be enough, but that's not enough, is it? Hookers don't feed one's ego, they are attainable by everyone, and so you don't care much about them, am i right? Simply put, you want a girlfriend to prove yourself you're okay. I'm taking a wild guess at your condition here though. I don't mean to psychanalize you or something.

Now there are only 2 ways to deal with feelings of inadequacy. Everybody has them and what you're feeling is part of the human condition and never completly goes away. But that's the beauty of life: suffering. There's something intriscaly beautiful about suffering, it reminds us of how human and vulnerable we are but simultaneously how graceful that is. As Leonard Coehn used to say "Everything has cracks. That's how light get's in". Anyway:

One way is self-compassion, the ability of not devaluing yourself. Realize something, what you're feeling is normal. Most people experience it one way or the other. And it's okay. Being a piece of shit short virgin is okay. I'm one skinny ugly fuck myself. I have a weird mole on my nose, my girlfriend is fat, i'll probably never work a cool job like i want to and if i do i'll probably end up hating it anyway. But you know, there's something powerful and really strong about radically accepting your weakness like that, like a normal thing.

The other way is self-steem, the ability to value yourself. Simply put, try go to the gym, get a nice job, go on activities you like and build a social circle. Invest in yourself. It seems contradictive with what i just said about self-compassion but it's not. You may accept yourself as you are while simultaneoulsy desiring without attachment. It's a "i kinda want this but if i don't get it it's okay" sort of thinking. It's a chilled graceful way of dealing with self-steem.

As for women being bitches who want to use you let's simply put it: What can you do about it? Not much. You're not some sort of magician who reads people's mind, so there's nothing you can do about finding out if a woman wants to exploit you. So let it go, i guess. Try to keep your eyes open, but in the end remember that if she wants to fuck you up, she will and there's little you can do about it other than reacting peacefully and gracefully. Do not let whatever some bitch does to you control you.

ElvishEm · 2017-02-08T06:35:48+00:00

Hey! I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and you are not doomed. Everything can work out just fine for you! I'm an attractive, intelligent woman (in my opinion, haha) who started out as an unattractive virgin nerd. I was desperate for sex or attention from men and found myself unable to find it.

As I worked on myself and developed my own hobbies and allowed my personality to shine through, I started to get attention from men for the first time. This allowed me to have enough confidence to work on my appearance and develop relationships (starting with friendships). Having male friends helped me to understand and relate to men as people rather than potential dates or partners.

My first boyfriend was also a nerdy virgin and he was the same height as you (relevant only because I am 5'7). I didn't care about his height because we got to know each other personally and didn't worry about gender stereotypes. I am an individual just like all other women, and we don't all care about the same things. There is someone out there who would crave you.

Keep your chin up. I know dating, especially in the beginning isn't easy. I've also seen how my first boyfriend struggled with his self confidence because of his height, so I know that you may have had some bad experiences. But also know that not all women will care and that her personality is what makes her worth wanting.

My advice for building a LTR: Don't take just anyone, just because she will "tolerate" you. Hold out for someone that you really want who really cares for you, and you will end up with a better relationship. Hold yourself to a high standard. Not because of being "alpha" or "dominant", but because you are worth it and you are awesome!

If you want to talk to me about your experiences, feel free. I know I may not seem relatable to you, as a woman, but I really have been there. I know how it can hurt. Good luck, friend.

Awpossum · 2017-02-06T17:44:21+00:00

Hey dude, it sounds like you need some support ! Don't hesitate to pm me if you wanna talk :)

theredreddituser · 2017-05-30T16:37:57+00:00

"Why would she crave me when she got 100 boys waiting for her pussy"

Because it's not all about pussy and numbers. 100 boys v. zero boys aren't all that different, when she has a vibrator or dildo that will always be nice to her, never try to game her, and will never be gone when she wakes up.

to any decent girl that you would actually want as a life partner, height doesn't matter, or will atop mattering in the 5 minutes it takes her to realize that you either have a killer sense of humor, or will laugh at all of her terrible jokes

Title	Feeling bad
Author	Kendrick17
Upvotes	4
Comments	4
Date	February 5, 2017 9:44 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/5sa4tu/feeling_bad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/feeling-bad.300331 https://theredarchive.com/post/300331

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