It's time to introduce the last of the basics for this series, though there's no particularity in the order in which I wrote these.

CONVERSATION ARTISTRY

I take it as a given that everyone here knows how to pray. If you know how to talk to a person, you know how to pray. It's really that simple.

That said, RP talks about being conversational artists, and this is a concept I've been employing in my faith since long before RP, which only makes more sense now. Consider: there are some who are great conversationalists and some who aren't. Some who inspire with their words, others who make people laugh, others who help people understand, and others who evoke curiosity. What are you doing with your words in your conversations with God?

  • If everyone else knows you as the "funny man," have you ever tried to make God laugh? He already knows the punchline, but I still love re-hearing old jokes.

  • If you're the constant encourager, have you communicated encouraging thoughts toward God? Sure, he already knows what will unfold, but sometimes people like hearing it anyway.

  • If people know you for talking about complex ideas, are you sharing thoughts thoughts with God and brainstorming together? Obviously he already knows more than you could ever tell him, but how can you learn if you don't share your brilliant theories with the one who knows how to take them to the next level or to fine-tune an otherwise rough-shod idea?


PRAYERFUL ATTRACTION

Let me add one more to the above non-exclusive list:

  • Are you great at picking up girls with one-liners? When was the last time you tried to use prayer to enhance God's attraction to you?

You see, we're usually so concerned about our emotional passion and connection to God that we often forget we need to make ourselves desirable to him as well - to enhance his emotional passion for us.

In a conversation with the rich young man, despite that it ended poorly for him, when the man said, "Teacher ... I have kept all these [commands] from my youth," Jesus' response is unusual in all of Scripture. Before Jesus proves his point, we see the Scriptures say: "Jesus looked at him and loved him." Why? Jesus obviously knew the character of his heart. He knew the man's obedience wasn't genuine. He knew the man would turn away at the challenge to sell everything. Nevertheless, the man's words inspired love in Christ for him.

Matthew 15:8

Now, everyone's going to jump down my throat: What about Matthew 15:8?!? Sure: honoring God with your mouth and not your heart has little value. It doesn't do much for the relationship. That's like my wife dressing up in her sexiest lingerie and whispering dirty things in my ear, then acting like I'm crazy when I try to take her right then and there.

You see, even if she had no intent to follow-through, her words still affected me. They still aroused me. How horrible it is when they're hollow, yet even better when they're true!

So it is with your prayers to God. Are you saying the things that will cause him to love you? To enhance his passion for you? As His bride, are you talking about all the ways you're going to please him and tickle that spiritually reproductive bone in his spiritual body?

  • Note: If you're not aware by now, I equate physical reproductive acts (i.e. sex) with spiritually reproductive acts (i.e. evangelism) as a biblical parallel God intended to establish, just as I do physical child-rearing (parenting) with spiritual child-rearing (discipleship).

STRUCTURE

A lot of people like to use the ACTS acronym: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication/Stuff. Sadly, this misses the single most important aspect of prayer itself: that prayer is first and foremost about relating with our God. You would have a pretty sucky relationship with your wife or LTR if you never communicated with one another.

I know, RP talks a lot about "let her speak more" and just STFU and the 2/3 rule and all that ... and God models this pretty darn well with his bride. But the fact is that most conversations between spouses shouldn't be purely logistical, they should be relationship building. Our conversations should be enhancing attraction and deepening intimacy, and if they're not doing this then we start to feel like business partners rather than horny lovers.

To that end, I rework the acronym into REACT.

  • Relate: Tell God how your day was; ask him about his; make him laugh and let him make you laugh; share something you learned; practice every aspect of your conversational artistry.

  • Entrust - Lift up to him those things which are important to you and ask that His will be done. Trust him with what's concerning you, but also let him know how you'd like it all to be worked out ;) This is a better replacement for "supplication/stuff," in my view.

  • Adore - Praise him for the great things he has done and for who he is - because he deserves it!

  • Confess - Acknowledge your sins, faults, etc. and ask forgiveness.

  • Thank - For what he has done, for forgiveness, for grace, etc.


PRAY THE MEANS

With regard to making requests of God, another thing that has been quite helpful to me is to pray the means, not the end. Most people want to skip to the end because that's easier, but that also requires very little faith. Saying, "God, please help my friend come to faith" is one thing, but saying, "God, please give me the words to say to help my friend come to faith" is an entirely different monster. The same is true for, "God, please cause it to stop raining for three and a half years ... SO THAT your people will return to you" (see James 5:17).

Paul prays this type of prayer often and we should follow in his model. Consider:

  • Ephesians 1:17 - He prays for "the Spirit of wisdom and revelation [means] SO THAT you may know Him better [result]."

  • Ephesians 1:18-19 - "the eyes of your heart may be enlightened [cause] ... IN ORDER THAT you may know the hope ... his glorious inheritance and his incomparably great power [result]"

  • Ephesians 3:18-19 - "may have power together with all the Saints, to grasp ... the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge [cause] THAT you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God [result]."

  • Philippians 1:9-10 - "that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight [cause] SO THAT you may be able to discern what is best and be pure and blameless [result]."

  • Colossians 1:9-10 - "asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding [cause] SO AS TO walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him [result]"

This list could go on indefinitely and gets really interesting, not just with things like Elijah's prayer for it to stop raining, but with Elisha, who didn't pray, "God, please save me from my enemies," but instead said, "God, Strike this army with blindness" (2 Kings 6:18).

Are you bold enough to pray for specifics, or are you hiding behind vague generalities, hoping that your faith in the power of prayer will not be shaken if you avoid asking for anything too specific? Are you so insecure of God saying "no" or that he'll choose to fulfill your request a different way? It's been said a million times that men are overt and women are covert. Don't we as men wish our wives would communicate a little more overtly when they actually want something done and it's not just about sharing feelings? Being that we actually are men, despite being Christ's bride, should we not do him this favor in how we pray and make requests?