Here’s the thing, I met a girl the other day, flirted a bit and exchanged numbers. What I wanted was purely to have fun, a one night-stand and that’s it.

Lots of girls do that without issues, but two conditions need to happen: she has to be horny for the guy AND also don’t see him as “boyfriend material”. Women will fuck you right away if they find you hot, but only if they don’t want anything else. Maybe they see you as a dumb hunk, or they have a boyfriend and you’re just a fling, or they just ended a relationship and feel like starting a cock carrousel...

But if they want to fuck you right away and ALSO see you as a potential LTR, then conflict happens. They try to resist the urge and in order not to seem easy and have a few dates first so you’ll bond. This is what was happening during the date, and while I knew I could escalate and end up getting on with her that night, I decided against. I didn’t want to “trick” anyone into sex. But at the end of the date she threw herself at me and we hooked up anyway.

The problem is that now she’s expecting more. In her eyes this wasn’t a fun ONS but the beginning of a passionate relationship. I don’t really want to start anything, not a chance. And some of you will say, “easy, make her plate”. But I don’t want that either, that wouldn’t feel right to be playing with her that way. If I have a plate I want it to be honest, not having someone stringed along that wants more.

I’ll cut things off with her, but even that makes me feel bad. I’m sure that she’ll blame herself for sleeping with me too soon, when not doing that wouldn’t have changed anything.

So after all this, what I’m really asking is: how can you get a ONS in an honest way so that both parts involved end up happy with it? Gays do it really easily, they’re very clear about their intentions beforehand and no one gets hurt. I want the same. But I feel that if I had said in the middle of the date “Just so you know, I’m not looking for anything beyond tonight”, the girl would have been disappointed and bummed, and nothing would have happened.

How do you keep yourself honest and tell in a way “look, we won’t be a couple but we’ll have a lot of fun tonight” ?