Not sure if right place to post, and its a long read but here we go..

Female poster here, been friends with said guy since kindergarden (our mums were best friends so we 'had' to get along for the most part and him and my husband are good friends also (by chance not through me)

He is aged 38, says hes redpill and in many ways he can be

He has a ltr of 4 years and they are due to marry in December.

He lost his job, got a new one, same in many ways to his last but for a lesser known company (works in stocks, he is on the same salary and was unemployed a week)

Now the thing is he is adverse to addressing certain flaws he has, or admitting they are there and turns into a real whinge if mentions, does the typical exagerrate and moan response.

Hes looking for new work etc and being proactive, but my god is he being a moan about it.

His ltr is your typical feminine 9/10 girl, dotes on him (from what I can see anyway) shes spending 3 days a week when hes at work taking care of her mum (dementia and deteriorating) aswell as the kids and the house, and he admits she still has tea on the table, lookes awesome and taking care of business. Last week at a bbq she burnt her arm pretty bad on the grill and proceeded to cry because, well it was sore, said she was done and proceeded to go and shut herself in the bathroom for 5. Now shes usually a pretty tough cookie but this got to her. Anyway he went on to yell and moan about how it wasnt a big deal and for her to 'toughen up' and his lifes hard at the moment as he doesnt like his job or his car blah blah. Ive outlined to him to do better and keep it underwraps until he does, because we all know hes job hunting like crazy. A couple of his male mates suggested that he was being a dick.

Now thing is, my husband came home from having a meal with him last night and said all said guy did was bitch about how his ltr relationship is being less affectionate and throwing herself into other activities, as of recently. I suggested that perhaps she is resenting the fact that hes getting on with shit and hes being a moaning little bitch and not handling his emotions well and she might be losing attraction.

He come over some evenings when hubbys still at work for a 'cuppa' but I feel its like he wants a female to moan to and in all honesty, I cannot be fucked listening to him so I usually 'am just on my way out', so god knows how his ltr is feeling with him acting like hes so hard done by. He sits and talks about how he loves her, shes the best thing ever, he doesnt want to lose her and cant work out why shes being off (fishing to see what I know) I suggest to man up, to which he then says Im being a heartless cunt and then will 'huff' whilst saying 'im red pill as fuck, im right' 😩 he also would rather sit and listen to self improvement podcasts and eat takeaway, and has declined my hubby many a times to goto the gym. He works in an office with average walking about and his body isnt under that much physical 'work'although he would argue differently. Also he wakes at 5am as a virtue of how up and early he is, despite also not needing to be in office at this time and moaning of tiredness on an evening. Works 8-5 mon-fri, commute 40mins. He does not exercise.

5 years ago we saw him go through a very messy breakup to which he nearly topped himself, and my husband gentley guided him towards you guys, we saw massive changes in him and now I feel hes returning to victimhood and could lose his current family over his inability to get a grip on certain emotions, especially when his current ltr is quite a strong character.

I care because 1) hes a friend and 2) im not having him crash at our place again when he gets chucked out because hes being a whiney bitch.

Too add, his ltr confided in me its like he portrayed a certain image of himself and now hes acting wronged by life and godforbid something worse happened she doesnt think he would have to gaul to manage without letting the world know and his constant moaning and mood swings which he then blames on 'having alot on'...shes sick of it and doesnt want to fuck him. She said his words don't hurt but the more 'tantrums'he has the more she 'dries up'.

Literally sick of him and selfishly sick of the time hes eating up out of mine and hubbys life too (only so long I can hear the same song),he just feels sorry for himself and acts like a 4 year old if any negative points are highlighted. He thinks because hes looking for work hes doing all he can, but how can we get him to see he also needs to say 'Im being a weak ass man right now handling my emotions like a girl but I see that and I can and will do better' without being a little bitch.... Also hubbys not a redditor but has pretty much echoed the above to me, and I dont want to demasculate him in how he deals with his friend either..