Hi TRP, I'm new here, i read a lot of post here since a few weeks, thanks for existing.

I'm 23 years old and he's my short story, why i'm manning up. I've never felt so alive.

10 months ago i was at home and in "search of a job".

I was smoking weed all day playing video games and getting fat eating cereals.

After multiple friend zoning i was feeling bad about myself. I was all beta and wanted a love story, i thought girls were nice and I was the bastard. I thought it was good to spoil them and it was just "stupid bitches" that i had encountered. Since i was home all day i didn't met any girls for a good year now. I crave for pussy but it's ok, my right hand is strong and i'm not the baddest of pussy craver.

Long story short i had been in a sound engineer school and didnd't attend the last 6 months (of 3 years) and didn't pass my exams. Instead i went at friend's house and played video game/got high.

I stumbled upon this video, and it resonated like gospel to me. I didn't want to grow up, i thought this world is unfair. Why do i need to grow up, why can't i stay this kid that wakes up at 2pm and smokes weed while lying to his parents that he's searching a job while all he wants to do is playing video game while getting high.

I was so infuriated at women for having an easy life, i wanted an easy life too, i wanted to get married to someone and play all day smoking weed while she's at work. I'd be a wonderful home man i'm pretty sure.

I wanted boobs and a vag so i could just do whatever i like (girls want to have fun, ya know)

Slowly but surely i lost a lot of friends, while i was getting high and playing video gmes they were attending school/working on their lives, getting girlfriends, going out etc.

I realized that i was losing time but still didn't want to wake up from that hazy dream i was in.

I wanted my grandmother to die so i could get her heritage.

And then i thought about my grandfather. This man raised his empire all by himself. Sure his own father left him the foundations of his business (cheese refining) but he made it grow SO LARGE that i even get something from his heritage. He made sure every single of his child/grandchild gets something out of his work.

I felt real bad on my condition and i thought "what kind of lies would your parents tell to Grandpa to cover up for my mess of a life"

I felt miserable, i've never felt so miserable. I was admiring this man when i was a kid, he would always tell me stories about the 2nd world war and how he hid jews in his truck with all that smelling cheese, how he made a small fortune with stock exchange during the 70s and buying/selling flats in Paris.

I felt to myself, this man would've NEVER want to be a woman. He NEVER wanted an easy life. He was that powerful father figure in the family that everyone fears and respect. I wanted to be just like him when i got older.

I decided to quit smoking weed regularly and quit lying to my parents. Yes i didn't do anything in the past 10 months, but shit's gonna change. I'm sick and tired to see the world passing by and i'm just in this hazy smoke all day.

I decided to quit eating cereals all day because that shit made me fat, i'm not THAT fat, but i've never been so fat EVER, my family even started mocking me during gatherings

I'm not going at gym but i'm using a "rower" everyday and i'm doing jogging. I'm all sweaty but GOD does it feel good.

I'm used to being high and i gotta say the "high" you get from sport exhausting is not similar but still amazing.

I never want to be this kid again, i never want to ask money to my parents ever again.

I want to MAN UP, i want to be a man, maybe not the manliest of man, but i want to feel alive, i want my kids and grandkids to feel proud of their father/grandfather. I want to inspire other people

Shit this was long i said it was a short story, well i guess i'm bad at summing things up (even tho i this is AMAZING sum up in my pov)