Advice on Dread Game?

I've been with this girl for almost two years. She literally did everything for me, constantly tells me she loves me and begs me to say it back, always surprising me, moved to my city away from her parents etc. I can honestly say she was a great girl. But lately she's been bitchy and she's obviously trying to take the "power" in the relationship (maybe shit testing more? Don't know if it would fall under that category, I'm new). And it began around the time of her hanging out with this new girl friend. I told her to cut it out or I'm done. I haven't been talking to or seeing her much, I'm lifting harder and eating healthier, progressing as a man, all the above... I'm legitimately moving on, and if she happens to come to and act appropriately, great. So she calls me 20x this morning and texts me saying it's urgent, so I answer - she then tells me her parents are separating.....? She has exaggerated things to get my attention before. I talked to her for 10 and ended the conversation. She's been calling me all day. My question is, do I talk to her or just get on with my business? Her parents separating is a somewhat major event. I just don't want to go over the top. Any advice would be great. Thanks

[–]_whistler1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThorhammerX1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]_whistler0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThorhammerX1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

As far as domestic skills, like household wife work, she's spot on. And she's good with kids. Most of the time her room and bathroom are a disaster but that's it. As far as other aspects of her life, she's lazy when it comes to hitting the gym and eating healthy - she started a fitness challenge and barely hits the gym and eats whatever. She procrastinates with school work. Also she pays her bills but isn't great at saving money. She spends it on excess shit she doesn't need. I'm logically thinking this through not just trying to build her up here. Can't think of much else atm.

My problem is that lately she's been bitchy and challenging me. She tells me that I need to be more verbal and tell her I care about her more etc, and that I need to do things for her because I never do (which I don't, it's been more of a 4:1 ratio of her doing to mine) Like I said, I told her if she doesn't get her act straight I'm gone. And I've been busting my ass to better myself in every aspect of my life. I haven't been focusing on her at all, just myself. This is going on week two. She's been calling me begging for things to be right but that attitude is still there so I haven't caved.

And this thing about her parents came up today and I'm not sure if keeping my distance and leaving her be is best (because if she's not acting accordingly, she doesn't get any part of me - I'm completely gone and won't be there to comfort her etc), or if I should talk to and be there for her. She wants me to meet up with her tonight. She hasn't said it but that's what's at the bottom of all this.

[–]_whistler0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

First off, only you have all the requisite information to make the right call here. I can only give you my opinion.

That being said, it sound like she's in a fairly constant state of comfort testing. You've demonstrated the Alpha Attraction qualities, she's seeking the Beta Comfort qualities that let her know if she can trust you.

As the first child of three, she'll probably shoulder responsibility fairly well. This is also evidenced by her willingness and aptitude at fulfilling domestic duties.

She doesn't spend as much time as she should cultivating her own self esteem; she relies on validation from others - you, specifically - to fill this void. This is most women, so it's not a deal breaker. I get this from the info about her room and bathroom - the household areas that most represent her - being a mess, and the info about not taking care of her body and health. Possessions provide part of this external validation, as well. But materialism is a primarily feminine quality, so once again, not a deal breaker.

You've (apparently very bluntly) told her that if she doesn't get her act straight, you're out. This is a failure of the comfort test, but can be a passing score for shit testing. Although I'm generally against bluntly stating the truth to women - implication is your friend - it can work with some, and with her being a firstborn it's more likely to work with her.

You've really got to figure out where her head is at to know how to proceed.

I'd start building up the comfort if I were you. Gauge her response to this. You seem like you're being honest with yourself, so as long as you're willing to bear the pain if you build comfort - making yourself more vulnerable - and it still doesn't work out, I think this is the best course.

edited to add: With all this, I can't condone pursuing a monogamous LTR. You're 25, you've got a decade before you should really be pursuing the stasis of a family dynamic. But you know your own head, and I don't, so there it is.

[–]ThorhammerX0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	Advice on Dread Game?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	6
Date	April 30, 2015 10:33 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/34gcsn/advice_on_dread_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/advice-on-dread-game.32065 https://theredarchive.com/post/32065

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