Okay so I went to the fridge to start drinking here a half-hour ago and I noticed I had these "tall boys" I should drink. But then I remember this sketchy looking guy at the liquor store who was was feeling all the tall boys with his fingers to see if they were cold. So, then I wash the can with soap and water on the sides and top. But I forgot to rise the top off enough. So, I take a sip of this beer and it takes like fucking soap. Then I take a piece of toilet paper and run it around the inner rim of the can crimp and this clear slime accumulates on the TP as I rotate the can. Pure fucking dish soap. Right. So, not to waste a perfectly good Tall Boy, I clean up the can with more TP and pour it in a glass with maybe just a wee bit of dried up diet coke in the bottom. So I'm drinking this shit and it tastes like soap, but then I'm like... I should sniff this motherfucker and and lo and behold it smells kinda like ass. Like that "not mountain biking but been in the office all day, pre-shower" ass smell. Kinda sweet, oddly enough.

So here I am at like 10:23 on NYE with this soapy, assy shitty glass of beer and I'm just wondering if I have a drinking problem.

Thank you.