So in my early 30s, I lost the plot a little. Went through a career transition, decided i wanted to become a doc. Applied for 3 years. Got in to a med school in the middle of nowhere. Wish I'd been put into an apprenticeship at 16! Seeing the education matrix for what it is and I'm pissed.

Did 2 years, burned out, got absolutely shafted by FA (title IX) had to take a year out. Got absolutely burned by the accusations mentally but was allowed back in. Came back and depression and anxiety ensued. I'm working a remote job on weekends which is long and depressing.

In the 6 months at the end of my year out, I actually began to enjoy life a little. I found a cool mens community that are business guys and the networking options are good. This is in my hometown to means moving back.

Now I expect people to come back and say be a doc, be in the top 10% blah blah.

But the reality is, the hours are cruel, the pay sucks, you have no control over the schedule for many years (8). I still have the nightmare of med school breathing down my neck and exams / assessments. Landlord just gave me notice as selling the place. Have to move out mid semester. I'm being cluster fucked.

I totally regret not making an easier decision and blowing up my life for so long. I realised i should have been just working a job and having a laugh for the last 15 years in a place I like.

On the bright side, I'm 36, in shape, kinda smart and hardworking, can be sociable. Into preventative health.

Options are, quit med school and try to set up a business. Most likely in salesforce consulting, via some jobs. At the same time set up a preventative mens health business. Or set up some type of online business in health areas.

I could also do the first two years of training and go part time, but the thought of rota in the hospital is fully depressing. Or leave after med school, but i dont see the difference in leaving now, I'll save the time and energy.

Next year i do have the option to move to a better town with some guys (although they are super nerdy) The next year is the hardest too, with the stress and anxiety of the final exams.

Any feedback welcome. Am I reasonable in saying its not worth it?