I come to you all for advice(again),
Preface: I'm currently thinking to just pull back, mind my own business and focus on graduating in spring.
I'm in a medical program that I will see me graduating come spring. I have made a few friends but they've all been guys and our group is usually friendly, have good chats, but we've all noticed a few things in our time together:
- The girls never care to help out when in labs or in class and given group work. The irony of this is that teamwork is even more important in our field.
- All of our teachers are women. Yes, you heard that right. There is a single male teacher in the entire medical department and he teaches math. This in of itself didn't really bother me or any of the guys at first, but one of the guys ended up crying one day during a lab and the rest of us guys stayed behind to watch over him and give support. Afterwards he told us that one of the teachers just seemed to always berate and mock him when he asked questions. We all realized that we pretty much got the same treatment from her.
- --->What this post is really about: There's 1 girl in our class that always follows us guys around, the other girls don't like her(they snicker about her, roll their eyes and are downright dismisive of her). Two of the guys in our group often chatted with her(one of them because he said he found her attractive) and so she pretty much became a part of our group. Here's the thing...I know this girl from school in the past and she is fragile as hell. During a math class, she couldn't figure something out and started angrily arguing with the teacher loudly, then she started crying, grabbed her stuff and stormed out, not showing up for our other classes for the rest of the day. The littlest thing and she completely breaks down crying and deep breathing. I would feel bad for her if it was just that, but she has a habit of exhaling loudly that just irritates me and worse yet, she is very combative, rude and insulting when talking to people; which is ironic given her fragility.
Anyway I didn't like this girl but decided to just roll with her following us around as two of the other guys took a liking to her. I remained professional and even pleasant with her. But during an ethics class we were discussing how we deal with stress and I was asked, so I gave my response and she cut me off mid-sentence, turned around from her desk and said "Well that's stupid, that's not okay". I just blinked in disbelief and the teacher just looked at her in shock. I politely said "...but I realized it isn't a good way over time and have changed that". The class got awkwardly quiet and I could see the others laughing at her silently. I forgave this, then in another discussion about cultural differences and how to approach others who think differently that us guys were having during lunch, she jumped in and began accusing myself and another guy of *badam-tsh* the sacred sexism because we argued that while we may see things as negative, other cultures may not and that it required a gentle approach. I forgave that. Then today I was talking to one of the guys about stuff outside of school and my job, where I am trying to train someone to become a manager because her employees are walking all over her and one even threatened to punch her. I was asked to come in and consult, so I've been doing that on the side and teaching her the ropes of management. This girl walks over, doesn't even know the context of our discussion and all she hears is "We ended up yelling at each other in the office and she cried". Before I can even finish my sentence, she goes "What's wrong with you?". I stopped, looked at her, and decided it wasn't worth it. So we continued our discussion and as we were wrapping up a few minutes later before classes started again, I said "It's all so frustrating and depressing seeing the way she acts with her employees, I just don't think she's cut out for it" and this girl says "Well maybe you should make her cry again". Finally I had it and I just looked at her and said "Can you please stop talking to me the way that you do? Especially when you always cut people off and never have the full context of what they're saying?". She then looked nervously at the other guys as if for reassurance and we all went to class. During our lab, she walked up right beside me and fucking exhaled loudly right in my ear, I finally had it and very firmly said "Please stop doing that around me and especially not in my ear". She got defensive and said "Oh my god, chill dude, that wasn't even your ear". I asked her that even if it wasn't(which it was), did she think it polite to exhale that loudly number one, and number two, right beside someone trying to focus on their work, that I knew I wasn't the only one tired of her doing that and if she'd like it if people did that to her. She just stared blankly and again went, "wow, chill dude". I proceeded to ignore her, cleaned up my station and got away from her.
Anyway, tl;dr: I've been thinking about going to our program head about this and venting my problems with this girl. I know that I'm not the only one that feels this way, and the "leadership" part of me is saying, "Well since you know that you're not the only one, and others won't say anything, then you should do it." But the more cautious side is telling me that it's not worth it, that I should just continue ignoring her from now on outside of classes/keep discussion minimal in class if I have too, and just focus on finishing my exams, clinical and graduating(in other words, the SOP for dealing with modern women in public that like starting shit). But this girl drives me up the fucking wall lmao. What do you guys think?
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