Not sure how far back to go or how much information is needed but I’ve been seeing a girl on and off for about four years. We never officially “dated“ or were considered “boyfriend/girlfriend“ or lived together. More or less it’s been a long term FWB relationship with lots of hanging out and other activities. Kind of like dating, without actually dating or announcing it to the world. She always knew that, but overtime talked about and always hinted at wanting more and jokingly being married at some point. Yeah, right. No thanks!

Everything would be fine and we’d be getting along great then she would just go off over usually something trivial. (I know, most women do, right?) I would say she’d be throwing a temper tantrum or a fit as the things she would have problems and issues with were often very immature and unwarranted. We’d be lucky to get along for more than a week or two before one of her childish temper tantrums would again take place where she is often mean, criticizing, and throwing me away like she doesn’t want anything to do with me ever again. She would often bombard me with texts and phone calls being mean and criticizing about me and my life and personal things to deliberately try and get me upset. She would often times accuse me of texting and talking to, seeing, and fucking other women. She’s extremely jealous and insecure. She knew of a few women years ago but never knew what I have done with them or relationships I may have had with them. But I’ve told her time and time again recently that within the last year or so that I have not been talking to, seeing, or fucking anyone else. But this never stopped her from throwing her mean, aggressive and bullying fits of rage. I almost never would engage her during these situations. She would get upset that I would ignore her, but I know trying to reason with her in this state gets me absolutely nowhere. So then maybe after a day or two, or even a week, it’s like she would come to her senses and realize what she did was wrong and she would come back apologizing and wanting to get together and do something again. Kind of like the old, What are you doing for dinner text. And me being a nice guy and not having any other girls that I’m currently seeing, I would often reluctantly go ahead with it. But often with a long discussion about how things went down and how she treated me. And how I won’t tolerate or interact with her with that behavior. I know it takes two to tango, but in 95% of these situations they honestly fall on her for often making something out of nothing.

Now getting to the point of this post is that another one of these situations happened this weekend when we were together at her place watching football. She got all upset because I was on my phone, texting my brother, saying how she wanted to spend time together. I was like, we are spending time together. What’s the difference if I’m looking at the TV or looking at my phone for a minute or two? She continued to go off on me and I tried to ignore it. A few minutes had passed and she brought it up again just pushing my buttons about things. Then insinuating that I was texting some other women. I don’t feel like I need to constantly prove myself to her because of her insecurities and mistrust issues. (but again, it shouldn’t matter because we’re not officially dating. And I don’t give her shit about who she may or may not be talking to or seeing.) Then after pushing me to my limit she said, Let me guess, this is the part where you get upset and storm off. And I said you’re right, fuck you! And I stormed out of the house. Now assuming things would have been the same as all of the other times before, they are the worst they’ve ever been. And as far as I see it she crossed the line. As a lot of women do, she stalked my Instagram for years giving me shit about every girl I would follow or like a post for. For some reason women think that means something. But all this week she has been contacting each and every girl that she knows I mentioned or talked about. And even all the girls she believes I may have been with and lied about. I’m getting texts from women that I considered long “friends” at this point (and a few not so much) asking who this girl is and why she is harassing her about our sexual past and what not. She is even sending me screenshots of conversations she has with these women where she is asking how they know me and what we have done together. Telling me things that they told her that I’ve done with or for them. Upset that I didn’t tell her all of this. Like I’m supposed to share every little detail about what I do and who I talk to with someone who is so on again and off again with me, that I’m not officially dating?! So not only is she throwing all of this in my face but she is still being mean and criticizing and bullying and harassing me. She was going through my friends list on Facebook and Instagram and compiled a list of people to contact. I ended up temporarily closing my Instagram and Facebook account so she couldn’t see who I was friends with anymore.

She has made mention and sent me screenshots of family members accounts threatening to contact them and tell them about our history together. If she has contacted them or not I do not know. I have no idea what she is trying to accomplish with all of this. Other than destroy my reputation and other relationships I have. She has been texting me all kinds of shit and calling me from all different numbers throughout the day all week. She has even stopped at my house on three occasions looking for me (Ring doorbell) saying that she will have no choice but to contact the police to check on my whereabouts to make sure I’m OK. She keeps wanting me to call her to, “Make things right“. And continues to text me mean stuff but then wants me to apologize to her. She’s even told me she looked me up on CCAP checking up my history to try to dig up more info on me.

At this point I’m not sure what to do. I’m on the fence about filing a police report and getting a restraining order. I’m actually thinking about getting an attorney for defamation of character or slander. I haven’t blocked her number as I feel like she keeps feeding me more information about what she is doing that could also help to build a potential case against her. It’s Friday and has been going on all week. I haven’t texted or talk to her since I left on Sunday. Not sure what I can or should do until Monday.