Loneliness

Three_legged_bear · 2020-01-16T11:12:39+00:00

Well you do have a family you can reach out to, and one that is probably more appropriate to share your feelings, your parents, siblings.
Loosing my mother was very hard, and unfortunately there's no cure-all method that will apply to everyone, but if I can offer some idea of a path you can go on that will be meaningful to you well, it's a good start.

That event triggered some kind of shift in me, first it was nihilism, unfortunetaly I went through many years with a nihilistic mindset and it greatly hindered me, but at the same time, was a kind of awakening. I then became really involved in finding myself, finding a meaning, a purpose in life, for me it was spiritual; books, meditations, walks in nature... Try to find something to set your mind on, it could be related to your grandpa; did he have a hobby ? did you do things together that you could continue to do to try and find peace of mind ?

If I can tell you one thing is that looking outward to find peace or solace will yield temporary and fleeting consolation. I believe that death is one of the very best thing you can go through to develop your character, you just have to find a way for it to be a motor to growth, and not let it crush your life. I wish you the best, and my deepest condolences for your loss. I believe you have all it takes to go through this and come out strenghtened.

MrMarmite247 · 2020-01-16T11:04:40+00:00

Maybe you can find comfort in other family members later on. At the church it's one of those of sit with whoever but reception grab a beer with your brothers and just talk.

Ocjab · 2020-01-16T11:35:43+00:00

Think of your grandpa and be proud of him. He happily sacrificed himself to raise you into the man you are today. We are all proud of our brother passing away.

The loneliness will pass, you are just staring death into the face and feel your mortality. Ask yourself, what is your highest priority? Because when someone is lying on their death bed, you don't think about the things you have accomplished but the things you regret not doing. Would you regret not getting married and have kids? Or something else?

I for one would never regret not getting married, I do have kids though, which I always wanted. I wished I had a family that remained together but "family" doesn't exist anymore. Women used to be the glue of a family but now... there is no glue, there is nothing but a cold empty house waiting for you when you finish work. Having a modern day woman in your life won't improve it. They bring nothing to do the table. You still have to do all the same things even when you are alone. You just get nagging and whining on top of how your life is right now.

nonchalantfool · 2020-01-16T11:38:06+00:00

Technology

TooAwareToCare · 2020-01-16T14:08:43+00:00

Your grandpa died alone, your family and friends will also, die alone.

They comfort each other as they believe they won’t die alone, the comforting pushes it away, they escape through eachother.

If you can do one of the hardest things in life, accept your reality. You won’t feel alone.

There is no escaping my friend, this comfort is temporary and there are so many wonderful things in life your grandpa would want for you.

He’d want you to be strong right? Finding comfort in others doesn’t make you weak but it won’t make you strong either.

I hope that makes some sense, I really wish you all the best, I still occasionally fear your situation but we can only prepare or accept

elitebuzzy · 2020-01-16T14:56:07+00:00

Just remember a woman will strip you of your freedom and individuality. I mean I still think of times where I could, but then I remember. She's only in your head. I've been burned to many times. If your not a man who could make a woman feel like they are in a romance all over again for their rest of your life. Don't do it. Good women are rarer than hen's teeth too.

How to cope: Maybe just casual dating, but never get serious.

All you are to woman is financial security.

selfism_mike · 2020-01-16T15:50:13+00:00

The reality of life is that you are alone. That is the objective fact. There is no umbilical cord connecting you with any other person anymore.

Which means that all these ideas of community, togetherness, etc, are illusions, and they are maintained and made possible primarily because of the dedication and work of men.

Would any of your brothers be together with his wife comforting him if he were unemployed or broke? How much will be left of a man's family once he can't provide anymore? No such performance pressure on women, though.

The feeling of loneliness is based on assuming that relationships are real and that not having them is a loss. After experiencing what those relationships really are, namely just a bunch of con-jobs to extract labor and money from you, with you as a human being just being an undesired side effect they have to cope with, you develop automatically an appreciation for your alone time, because being alone means that you are not infested by parasites.

Being alone and at peace is something for which one should be deeply grateful.

ChadowyFigure · 2020-01-16T17:26:55+00:00

Solace and comfort provided by a wife are ersatz and come at a cost. She may think she is supportive, she may want to be supportive, she may put on a brave face and do her duty in public, but rest assured - her lizard brain is in high alert every time she has to fulfill this role. Deep down all her instincts are going "Fuck, this guy is way more of a wuss than I thought, will I be able to count on him if something actually bad happens?"

The more understanding she is and the more awesome you have been lately the more "wuss points" you can accrue before she sees you as a completely spineless unattractive worm, but you certainly get a little more pathetic in her eyes every time you pull some emo shit even for major things like deaths in the family.

A relationship with a woman is not the appropriate place to look for emotional support as it will erode and destroy her attraction to you. If this is what you want out of a romantic relationship then you are misguided about how they function and what they are for. Emotional support can be provided by family (even women, as it is a different dynamic), close male friends, or a therapist if necessary, but leave your fucktoy sidekick out of it even if you have one.

Ideally though, you should just learn to master your own emotions. I lost my own grandfather some years ago, and he and my grandmother also practically raised me - but everyone dies man, the fucking glass was already broken. Be happy that you had any time at all with your grandfather and treasure those experiences, don't focus on the inevitable fact that his life ended as all of ours must.

kubicas · 2020-01-16T15:13:00+00:00

Sorry for your loss bro. Death of close people you were with creates a hole that is super hard to heal. At least for me. Hopefully you have family you can talk to.

From my observations guys absolutely suck when it comes to dealing with loneliness and relationships with friends compared to women. A lot of guys don't go out there and get social like women do. I've seen too many guys who would rather wither away at home than go out and get social. Male friendships suck overall. Especially when you move out to other place and you know nobody. Ever noticed how guys get pulled by their women to their friends or to go out? Guys friendships are superficial at least from my experience. Everybody stops at being acquaintance. No wonder guys go for women so they have someone to talk to. Women call their friends, remember the birthdays, organize events like home parties etc. while guys don't give a fuck most of the time.

I don't know honestly how to deal with loneliness other than diving hard into hobbies, exploring your area, traveling, career/work and being more social reaching out to everybody, men and women and see how it goes.

It all requires effort and conscious action towards it.

End of my rant.

redditrat99 · 2020-01-16T19:13:33+00:00

It is worse with a woman. They may let you cry in public and pretend to be comforting and care, but they find your emotion as a weakness and a chore. Once you show weakness and watch you grieve for a family member that didn't mean anything to them, they will start to find you as soft and unattractive. It's only a matter of time before the pussy dries up and she moves on to someone that can "handle" themselves. Your guy friends will be there no matter what, they will try to lift you up with humor, and when you recover they won't look at you any different

ShowMeWarFace · 2020-01-16T16:44:32+00:00

Fantasy is comforting for all the wrong reasons, unfortunately.

People put up a good front sometimes, especially at funerals. Cue female virtue signaling for the other females. It's a LARP. Look how supportive I am. Yeah, how much comfort do those guys really get behind closed doors? Bet they get the opposite.

imtyrone001 · 2020-01-16T20:30:43+00:00

In the end everybody dies alone and everyone faces the Lord's judgement alone.

DannyTTT55 · 2020-01-16T13:37:42+00:00

No sure what being lonely has to do with a relative passing away

If someone close to you dies, it's normal to feel bad about

hypnotized · 2020-01-16T20:39:12+00:00

Make bromances instead of romances. Your grandpa is at peace. After the grief passes, you will be so more capable of persuing your dreams far more then the simps with their wives that hold them like there momma would do.

Be strong, this perhaps is one of the only things those wives are good at, being emotionally empathetic. Otherwise you have the penis and are the master of your own destiny. You are free, they are wage slaves.

Batman_MGTOW · 2020-01-17T04:17:40+00:00

If we know that women dont really love men then we know that your brothers' wives dont love them as a person but only for what they can provide, so that comfort, that sympathy, is only to make sure that they stay with her so that she wont be cut off from her easy lifestyle, if they lost their job, those girls would definitely not hesitate to divorce rape them, because they would become useless. Once you realize that women view you as a tool, as an object, as a walking wallet, then you understand that their words mean nothing, their kindness is nothing but lies and their true nature is much darker than what is shown on the outside. When you know this, then you know that you are much better off not being tied down like they are.

Title	Loneliness
Author	theoracleofosiris
Upvotes	30
Comments	22
Date	January 16, 2020 10:32 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/ephma8/loneliness/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/loneliness.376497 https://theredarchive.com/post/376497

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