this is from r/redpillwomen :

I hate this regret so much

Hi ladies, I f (27) struggling with something that I’ve been struggling for for the past 2 and a half years. I drunkenly lost my virginity to my then boyfriend ( he was drunk too). I was stupidly head over heels in love with him even though he treated me badly, I was oblivious. After we broke up ( shortly after) I started sleeping with a colleague who basically just saw me as sex. I was always a person who wanted to save my virginity till marriage & wanted to only have been with one person ( just the way I was brought up) and I feel like I’ve robbed my now amazing boyfriend the chance to have been my one & only. I wanted to please him so much that I would have done anything for him. What I really struggle with is the fact that I was drunk & I always wonder would I have done it if I were sober & that if I had only waited one more year I’d have been able to only be with my current amazing boyfriend. I try to be kind and forgive myself but I hate the fact I went against my biggest moral and something That was so important to me. I also struggle with the fact my current boyfriends ex lost her virginity to him & I’ll never be able to do the same for him.