Summary: I talk with a friend about one night stands, honesty and communicative skills.

BODY: Me and a female friend were talking recently about sex and relationships, we were talking about one night stands and how so many people of both genders find them really difficult but other people find them really easy - like we were talking about how as long as you don't give any real red flags then you can say basically anything, one time I was chatting to a girl and just joking around I was pretending to be really religious and this girl was saying loads of stuff like 'oh yeah i love jesus, the bible is really important to me' but then later I dropped the act and said it was a joke and i was too horny to carry it on because i kept thinking about sex she was like 'oh ok then, yeah gods not that cool really, what sort of sex shall we have then?'

Anyway so she said that sometimes it's not so much the story people are listening to but how good you are are communicating because sex and talking are kinda similar in a lot of ways - also sometimes if someone has a bad story that's kinda good because it means they're just looking for a one-night stand and going to leave before sunrise...

This led us onto the next bit, why some people are so bad at finding one night stands - she pointed out i'm always very honest, i'm clearly not boyfriend material and i'm obviously not looking for a wife, if i chat to someone they know it's safe to take me home and that afterwards if they don't pursue it then i won't - the big fear of one night stands is you get some idiot stalker that thinks because you fucked once you're basically married now....

anyway so a few days later i'm chatting to this other girl about meditation and kinematics when the conversation turns towards the more sensual side of Sutras - she was really pretty and I mentioned this in the context of sensory-harmony [like with object based focal meditation] then said quite candidly that I adore the physical sensations of touching and massage saying as well that I wished mutual sensuality and pleasure could be as relaxed and uninhibited as conversation is - she agreed, said she loved having her back stroked and i said I'd massage her back any time she wanted just for the pleasure of doing it... Then we talked about reciprocal pleasure and which was better giving or receiving, I got her to sit with her back to me and massaged her through her top while we chatted then she rubbed my back, then we swapped facebooks and agreed to meet up for a sensual evening some time, no strings attached...

Honesty makes sense and it works, it's not really so much what you say beyond them knowing they can have fun with you without getting tangled up in the insane world of a lunatic or having to carefully extricate themselves from a delusional stalker... What really matters is that you're aware and engaged and fluid with your communication.

Lesson learned: not sure so came here to talk about it...