Stop minimizing your trauma.

I don't know who needs to read this, but this is something I've been thinking about a lot lately.

I was abused as a child. I witnessed my mother being abused as well. As an adult, I married an abusive man.

Before about 4 months ago, those sentences never would have left my mouth, because I had spent my entire life minimizing my trauma and making excuses for my abusers. Saying things like "yeah he did x but at least he didn't do y!" Or "yeah going through x experience kind of sucked, but so many people had it so much worse than me!"

If that sounds like you, I am here to tell you: cut that shit out.

It is not helpful to compare yourself to others when it comes to healing from abuse. The fact that someone else's husband beats her so bad that she goes into the hospital, and yours only gives you bruises that you can heal from at home, does not make your situation any less crappy. The fact that you read a child called it and it makes your parents seem like amateurs does not mean that they were kind to you.

You are not WRONG for expressing that things hurt you even if they could have been worse. You do not have to make excuses for your abusers just because they weren't complete and total sadists. Someone else's suffering worse does not lessen your own. You will never heal from your abuse if you refuse to admit to yourself that you were in fact abused.

Love yourself enough to be honest about what has hurt you.

Edit: thanks so much for the gold kind reddit stranger!! I've read all your responses. You are all beautiful souls and I hope you all can heal and live the lives you deserve, peaceful and fulfilling.❤❤