Summary: If all your lays are disappearing very fast then you're just wasting opportunities for more sex, some affection and quality time. And you can easily change that.

 

Picking up girls during the day (or anywhere) is hard. Seduction rarely happens in an instant and if it does then it's an exception. Most of the time you'll need a mix of texting and dating to get laid. It isn't exactly hard work, far from it. It should be as enjoyable as possible because otherwise you'll hate the game, women and yourself. But it isn't easy nor foolproof process. And exactly because of that I don't like one night stands - too much hustle for just one night of fun. It's like buying a new espresso machine every time you want a coffee. Okay, not a great analogy but you get the point.

Recently a guy I've been talking to was disgruntled with the hookup culture where you just can't find a decent girl willing to commit. And in some countries (especially in some environments) it's more than true. Thankfully I live in one where I'm losing girls because they want to be monogamous and not because I want to do with them something other than sex. To be honest Poland is 50/50 right now and getting westernized fast... But that's not the point.

If all your lays are disappearing very fast then you're just wasting opportunities for more sex, some affection and quality time. And you can easily change that.

 

Change what type of relationships you get out of your game.

 

Everything starts - as always - with your approach. This is the first impression and if you appear like a guy looking for a relationship it will be hard to get fast sex. However, being a confident, r-selected guy doesn't mean you cannot be talked into some sort of casual relationship in the future. Most girls wants to "tame the bad boy". And what's even better - it's going to be her idea. Win-win.

It's one of those counterintuitive truths but if you want more quality time with girls be the fast sex type of guy. "Sex first and then (maybe) a relationship". Trying to build something more right away will scare off a lot of girls.

From my experience the single biggest issue that guys have is maintaining contact after having sex with a girl. It's not that hard! All the game rules still apply - let her chase you, contact mostly for logistic, see her once every 7-10 days, fuck her good, do something more than wine & sex if she's more than just a fuck buddy to you (there is a whole spectrum of relationships). And if you're too lazy to text her once every 2-3 days then don't whine that "all your conquers seem to fizzle out".

Fucking her good is underestimated too. If you're her source of orgasms then she'll likely keep coming for more. If you're having crazy, wild nights then sometimes it's more than enough to keep her around. There are girls looking for just that or those that had sex so long ago that - for now - it’s all they want.

The post-sex window is especially important the first time. It matters a lot what happens after sex. If you just put on your clothes and call her a cab - the message is clear. If you start naming your future children and pets you probably won’t see her again, stupid. However if you mix wild night of sex (with brief pauses for drinks and recovery) with some cuddling, letting her stay or making coffee in the morning you’ll send two signals. Yes, it is about sex. And yes, it can become something more. Just make sure the second message is more vague.

On one hand - you're the bad guy who seduced her. On the other - you seem to care. But you're probably still seeing other girls. Maybe you can be saved? Maybe she can change you? Of course not but these thoughts will keep her around for months, not weeks.

 

I'm not saying you should change who you are to keep some of the girls around. I'm saying that there are few simple things you can do to have more sex than just a one night stand and certainly more affection. And if you want to transition to long term relationship then just keep doing all that until she asks for one or gives you The Talk. You never start The Talk first. Never.

 

Lessons learned:

  • Never start off with the boyfriend vibe.
  • Maintain contact with a girl to make her your plate.
  • Fuck her good so she'll come back for more.
  • How you behave after your first time is a huge factor in setting up the tone of the relationship.

 

If you liked that post you might like my daygame blog because it's whole new year.