You could just enjoy your guns as a MGTOW, or you could deal with shit like this.

Obviously, I keep some guns. Just for hunting and sport shooting.

I’ve got four rifles right now and I keep them locked in a safe in my barn.

Before we got together two years ago, my wife had never really been around guns and at first wasn’t too interested. After some time (and me explaining my philosophy on why I like to hunt), she has started to express an interest in learning to hunt for herself.

So over the last couple months I have been showing her how to handle and shoot a hunting rifle. Taking her to the range, doing some dry practice at home, etc. She’s been learning a lot and doing a great job. And she has been very careful to follow proper safety on her firearms which makes me a little madder about the situation this morning.

She had a friend come over this morning. I already don’t have a high opinion of this friend. I think she is kind of an idiot, but she’s also got that unfortunate personality trait where she tends to be way overconfident and think she knows everything about any given subject. I’ve gotten into a few mild arguments with her over it. But she’s at least harmless so I never worried about her too much.

So this friend came over today. I figured the ladies would just chill out or something and I kinda found my way outside to work on my car, mostly so I didn’t get sucked into a conversation with the friend.

At some point I saw them leave the house and head to the barn, but I didn’t think much of it. Half an hour later I heard a gunshot from inside the barn.

I freaked a little and ran into the barn. I found my wife and her friend, her friend holding one of my rifles, and they were both looking at me like they realized they really messed up.

In the immediate moment, after I saw the ladies were okay, I took my rifle out of friends hands and was mostly concerned with where the round had gone, luckily it just landed in the dirt a few yards away.

So with all that sorted, I wound up heading back inside and took my rifle back inside and got it put back away, and then with the immediate concern gone, I started to get mad.

I’m not necessarily proud of the language I used, but I’ll try and portray it accurately since I am asking you alls opinions.

I asked the girls “Why. The. Fuck. Was one of my guns pulled out?”

Friend didn’t say anything at all, but my wife started explaining that friends husband wants to take her hunting sometime, so she was showing her a little bit about how to use a rifle.

So then I asked why it was loaded. I know I clear my guns before they go back in the safe, so I know there wasn’t a round in there. And I keep my ammo in a whole different safe then the guns, which incidentally, was opened.

Wife explained again she was showing friend how to load it. Friend loaded it successfully, obviously, looked down the barrel, and “accidentally” pulled the trigger, according to my wife.

They were making a “Woops!” Face that kind ignorant upset me more. And it didn’t help matters when my wife’s friend started telling me that “every rifle she is used to” has a different kind of safety mechanism and-I don’t know, I stopped listening to her there and told her it was probably best that she leave.

I locked up my guns and ammo, collected the keys from my wife and went back outside for a smoke. Friend takes off shortly after that and my wife approaches me.

She approached me and just said “Sorry”. I was still mad so I told her something like “Yeah...’sorry’ isn’t quite going to cut it here.”

And then I asked her what she was thinking, because she knows better than this. I know she knows better because I taught her!

I told her she made a string of very bad decisions that started with opening the gun safe, handing one of my rifles to someone who very obviously doesn’t know how to handle it, then opening the ammo safe, letting her load a fucking round and then letting her swing it around!”

My wife started getting defensive. She told me I’ve taken her shooting on our property before. The effect was the same here, right.

I told her, yeah, we’ve gone and shot empty bottles and stuff, but we got out into the woods and do it in front of a hill that we know works as a backstop. We dont just load a gun and fire wherever!”

Wife told me that she did make sure her friend pointed in a safe direction at least, meaning out the door towards the ground. And I got a little mad again and said something along the lines of “Yeah, and it’s a good fucking thing you did or else one of us would probably be in a police car by now!”

My wife finally said it was just an accident and I didn’t have to make such a deal over it, I told her that this was an accident that would have killed someone if her luck had been slightly less.

She walked away and as she did I said something to her like “Do not go in the gun safe again without asking me.” She got re-pissed at that and asked why I’m treating her like I’m her “dad”. I told her that those guns are registered to me and I don’t want to go to jail if she hands it to someone who doesn’t need to have it.

And thats where we’ve been all day. We’re kind of just avoiding each other. That sort of argument is very uncharacteristic of my wife. She is generally a very responsible and level-headed woman and she is also pretty good about taking responsibility when she makes a mistake. This is the only real shouting-argument we’ve had and it really bothers me that she’s throwing blame on me instead of recognizing how serious this mistake was.

Like if she had at least admitted that she made a serious mistake I probably would not have added that bit about staying out of my gun safe.

I do for myself feel bad for cussing at her, because I never do that. And what she said about me acting like her dad hit a nerve to. So I’ll probably apologize for the cussing here once I’m a little less angry.

So what should I do to handle this now? First big argument, and my wife seems to want to downplay how big of a deal this is. I don’t want to talk down to her, but I do, really want her to acknowledge what a bad decision(s) she made or I’m not sure I’ll be able to trust her handling one of my guns again. There is also the matter of her friend. Like I said, my wife is normally a very responsible and mature woman, but when she gets around her friend it’s like she gets......stupider, for lack of a better term. That is something that has bothered me about her friend before, but I’ve never said anything because it wasn’t that big of a deal before.

How should I approach this? How do I get my wife to stop avoiding me right now for one, and how can I get her to recognize the seriousness here without her feeling like I’m trying to be her dad?

TL;DR: My wife pulled out one of my rifles without my permission, gave it to her friend, who then fired it negligently. I’m super pissed, wife is pissed that I’m pissed, and it’s all a mess now. Help?