AITA For not immediately acquiescing when asked to limit my swearing?

74 points123 commentssubmitted by magx01 to r/AmItheAsshole

I have a very conservative Muslim coworker who emigrated from the Middle East to Canada and while she is a very nice woman (and great at her job) she can definitely rub people the wrong way at times with her inclination to make demands on them to behave in ways that correspond to her cultural views.

Recently we were conversing and in the middle of it she stopped me and said "could you not swear" (I had inadvertently said "shit" in the middle of telling a story). Now, I grew up in an environment in which swearing was like breathing so while I have worked very hard to curb it over the years things do slip out from time to time. With her, I make even more of a concerted effort to reign it in as I don't want to make her uncomfortable (given her staunchly conservative values/upbringing and my inclination to try and have a good rapport with people, especially ones I respect).

Having said that, I also don't like being told what to do and the way she said it was much more telling than it was asking. Given this, and the fact that I already try to keep this in mind when I am around her, and given the fact that it's not an issue with anyone else at work (they also all swear around me) and (last one) she has a history of trying to get people to acquiesce to her whims but is not flexible in return, I was a bit annoyed.

So in response I said "okay, I can definitely try even harder to curb it if it makes you uncomfortable, but I have a question for you: If I should avoid making you uncomfortable I assume you believe it is only fair that you do the same for me, right?" "Well, what if I told you it makes me uncomfortable when people try to control my behavior? Would you then not ask me to modify my language to suit you?"

This was a hypothetical, said totally neutrally (no anger at all) and inquisitively, to raise a point and perhaps an alternate perspective. I wasn't abrasive or rude in the slightest and her and I have a good working relationship so I thought this might launch an interesting discussion between us. Well......WOW did she not take that well. She immediately said "if you talk to me like that again I will take this to management" and then proceeded to give me the silent treatment and has now done so for the last two shifts we have worked together.

I don't understand her reaction and think it's patently absurd but people do tend to get upset when questioned it seems so I leave it to you: Is she being an asshole or am I missing something?

EDIT: Lots of comments about workplace professionalism. This is a VERY informal workplace where everyone swears and jokes around/teases one another and has been like this for years, way before she arrived and started trying to get the culture to change to suit her.