I have horrible social anxiety and today my physical therapist (who is an attractive woman my age) told me "you should just be more confident and stick your chest out more" - made me suicidal as heck

Bartand · 2019-07-18T23:16:11+00:00

Women cannot understand you.

debanked · 2019-07-18T23:20:41+00:00

I had social anxiety, then I realised that it's my normal to not want to be so social. Then my anxiety about it went away. This didn't happen over night, we're talking years to accept myself for who I am as a person

roxon89 · 2019-07-19T01:05:11+00:00

If a comment like that made you “suicidal as heck” the I would respectfully suggest that you have much more serious problems than your posture and you really should work on addressing your mental health and social anxiety. That’s really no way to go through life.

WhiteTrashJesus · 2019-07-18T23:13:30+00:00

you should just work on it she is right. start lifting it will help posture and confidence

[deleted] · 2019-07-19T00:02:40+00:00

I hate to tell you this, because it seems like you are a nervous wreck as it is, but if you think what she said is the worst you will ever hear a woman say, I do not predict you living a long life. I'm very sorry that your emotional state is such that an innocent statement like that destroyed you, but I'm pretty confident that worse is yet to come.

eduardkoopman · 2019-07-18T23:14:54+00:00

She knows you have social anxiety?
Because for people whom don't have a social anxiety disorder, her advice isn't totally crap. But for people with social anxiety disorder, it needs more and mayve is only possible to reach a level of "managable"

bjones7028 · 2019-07-19T02:04:32+00:00

Your mistake is attributing to her more skills and knowledge than she has. Physical therapy has nothing to do with mental health. I also struggle with social anxiety. But it’s totally different for me than what you are describing. For me social environments make me feel trapped and irritated. But I digress. The easiest thing for you to do is write her a note and basically tell her you want only professional conversation due to your social anxiety and would prefer she doesn’t interfere with your progress on that issue.

Maximum_Afternoon · 2019-07-19T02:15:52+00:00

For 40 years I got ridiculous advice like stand up straight and put your shoulders back. God damn what a fucking waste of sound and noise.

Entirely accidentally I discover that the solution to this posture problem is having a shitload of muscle on your upper back. Surprise, that's all the muscle that holds your shoulders back. So how does one get this muscle? Relatively straightforward, deadlift and shoulder shrugs. If you get your deadlift up to about 315 lb, and get to where you can shrug maybe 285 lb, you will have built the muscle that will do all of this stuff for you.

How long will that take? Oh, you're 30 years old, if you are eating a bunch of protein, not trying to lose weight at the same time, you could easily be doing that in a single year.

If your physical therapist hasn't told you to do strength training, get out of there.

chocolateship · 2019-07-18T23:15:00+00:00

I also have no idea what you deal with, my friend, but I can guarantee you (in the way of producing social angst and awkwardness) I have been through similar.

I am on anti depressants, mostly for my social anxiety, and I’ll tell you that it’s not a complete fix. As much as that girl is probably a stupid, shallow bitch, the idea that you gotta be more confident is not completely wrong. You need to dive head first into the awkward situations that make you scared, as nerve wracking as it is. Eventually, you will desensitize yourself and will be somewhat more comfortable all around. Be strong, remember that you’re a powerful man and that when you want something you have to work towards and take it.

Throwviews · 2019-07-18T23:17:38+00:00

You don't need confidence to be successful. Confidence is something you achieve after success.

quickGunShoot · 2019-07-18T23:37:19+00:00

This might sound stupid but it’s the only way. Don’t tell yourself “I have social anxiety”. It’ll become a self fulfilling prophecy. Read affirmations that you are socially savvy day and night. And listen to subliminals of the same kind through out the day. You’ll see change. Slowly but surly. Embrace the discomfort brother.

MarvelousMisanthrope · 2019-07-18T23:43:25+00:00

Out of curiosity, have you always had this anxiety? Or did it develop over time?

[deleted] · 2019-07-19T01:11:21+00:00

I'm sorry this happened to you. Keep at it and do your best; your feelings are valid. Tomorrow is a new day. Your life has value, enough if it is sometimes difficult to recognize it.

JSizzl3 · 2019-07-19T01:14:32+00:00

Take her down off that pedestal. If you could see what she's like outside the office you might throw up in your mouth a little.

Throwaway33060 · 2019-07-19T02:28:55+00:00

Dude sounds like you need to go see a therapist/psychiatrist. No shame in that.

IcyTooCool · 2019-07-19T04:18:46+00:00

Your feelings are understandable if she truly said that but isn’t she a trained professional? It would be even more ridiculous for her to say that than any random person on the street.

Origami84 · 2019-07-19T04:18:53+00:00

As others said, you have much bigger problems than your posture. You are way too brittle, too unstable. Focus on mental stability first, find the strenght to accept your situation without thinking of suicide or crying, and then it is the moment to work on how to improve yourself.

Comments