AITA for helping my cousin to get laid after his wife wants to open up the relationship?

5,871 points554 commentssubmitted by Angelcstay to r/AmItheAssholeClassic

My cousin is like a brother to me. He wanted to advance his education and career in the US so I offered to pay for his education and helped my cousin with his transition to his new life here by recommending him a job in the company I work in and let him stay in my property.

My cousin is the studious type, very academically inclined but socially awkward. Before coming to the US he never had a girlfriend before or many friends. He spends a lot of time on the computer and just studying preferring not to go out.

Then he met a girl. Fall in love and got married. He's in his late 20s and this was his first relationship

He calls me one day. His wife wants to open up the relationship saying she is still young and wants to “explore her sexuality” before "truly" settling down. He was CRUSHED. He calls me crying and it absolutely breaks my heart to hear him crying like that.

We talked bit more. This is a ongoing problem. Wife was insistent on her way and refused consulting or other professional help. In my opinion, when a woman wants to open up a relationship it means she is having an emotional affair wants her husband’s permission to sleep with so that she is not a bad person.

As his boss I can how this hurt him. He was unable to perform at work. I couldn’t stand looking at him like that so I talk to him.

- Look, its clear that this is affecting you very badly. Have you consider taking up on her offer? Since she wants to open up?

He agrees to try.

The problem is he absolutely had no game at all. So I decided to help him out. Me and my wife spend a lot of time on his image. He's not poor as he is making 250k (I know as his boss). He just doesn’t know how to present himself. We set up his social media accounts to make him more appealing. We went to meet girls together and we acted as his “wing-buddies”. I let him drive my car, (he was driving a Camry so he needs a much better ride) and one of my properties which is for investment purposes so he doesn’t have to go back to his home.

And guess what. It worked. He started getting laid. A LOT. We made sure to add all his hook ups in his social media so that his wife can see.

His wife was not happy at all! She thought he would not be that “wild” and wanted their open relationship close. Once she knew it was me and my wife who helped him she called and scolded me. She was screaming and i couldn't be bothered hearing her screeching harpy voice so i just off the phone on her. This happened yesterday. Today I have been getting calls from her friends scolding me for being an asshole ruining their relationship. I basically just retort “She ruined their relationship. I am just helping my cousin”

I don't get it.She wants to open up the relationship, He got more successful than her and now she wants to close it, and its my fault that I'm ruining their relationship? So reddit users let me have it. AITA?

Just want to say I agree with that most people here that their relationship is doom and should just cut it off. But he is an idiot with a set idea of how a relationship should work out. He does not want to divorce unless necessary, his wife doesn't want to consider counseling. Me, I just personally wants him to be happy so I don't want to force the idea of a divorce to him. But i am working hard to lead him into that mindset.

To answer many of the pm i am getting English is indeed not my first language but honestly it has never affect my ability to do my job. I also have 2 masters so my English can't be that bad. But i do apologize if i cause some of you guys to get cancer from reading my post. As for my job I am a director in one of the MNC (Engineering field).

My cousin is just a very hard-working, simple , thrifty man with simple needs who just happens to get a good job that pays well. He don't spend unnecessarily. He invest well, spend wisely and overall have a good head on his shoulder. This I think have to do with the fact that his family is not well off. And for Asian one of the way to elevate your economic status is to study hard, which he excels in, Then get a good job. This habit stays with him into adulthood.