I've been living in Japan for a while and I've found it sort of tough with the ladies. Well, that's a lie, I've done okay at the margins (little older, fatter, etc.) But, I've been in a lot of situations where Japanese girls seem like they really like me, but they won't do anything.

Granted, for perspective keep in mind that Japanese women are at the end of the day women. They are more or less the same as women anywhere else. There are younger, skinnier women that are chasing Japanese culture's version of the hot thing. Many women from smaller cities are somewhat conservative, and god bless 'em don't want to just give up it to some fly by nighter.

However, somewhere in that reality there's a sweet spot of me getting along very nicely with ladies but it not going somewhere. Like I said, it's a sweet spot. Some dudes, maybe any decent foreign dudes, if they go to the right places, will find girls looking for foreigners and be lucky. It's outside of those places, with the more Japanese Japanese girls that I'm discussing.

So here's the game technique: calm persistence. Japanese really value persistence. They don't like people who jump in rearing to go. They like quiet, unobtrusive behavior from people who know their place. If you want to assert yourself, do it quietly. If you persist and prove yourself, your assertiveness will gain acceptance. Because this is their culture, this is the "signal" Japanese girls are looking to feel like you've earned them. After all, game 101: girls don't want to appear to be sluts; it's all about sexual market value. The cultural sign in Japan for that sort of thing is your willingness to persist.

Japanese culture, as I said, doesn't like people who stand out. On the other hand, Japanese girls especially don't want to appear as sluts. Culturally, women besides desperate oldies or foreigner-hunters, will never ever act like they want or like sex around a man they like. This is actually why they have so much rape fantasy porn. A lot of Japanese women who want sex are not supposed to act like they do, so a "rape" by the man they like is very sexy - because they get sex, but don't have to diminish their sexual market value by admitting they like sex. Yeah, deal with that feminists.

So this is a conundrum: to get a Japanese girl you have to be assertive as a man. Most of the time, you can't ask for sex, because the girl is terrified of admitting she wants it. I'm talking about the shy girls who don't really speak English and are normal Japanese. But, if you're too assertive to fast, you seem desperate, and that makes the girl feel like you think she's cheap.

Yeah, I know, all women can be like this, Japan is just an exaggeration of it.

So what you do with Japanese girls, I think (from recent personal experience), is you simply persist. Act like you want sex, but don't act like you think she'll give it to you. Escalate, but not to sex. Make some non-sex thing your goal. Don't ask her permission - sorry feminists, Japanese girls don't want to be asked, they'll say no if they don't want it. Escalate confidently to that middle stepping stone. Stay there for a bit. Escalate until she says no, but make her say no before sex.

For instance: a lot of girls, if they let you kiss their cheek or body, won't be cool with lips kissing (and FYI many Japanese girls think lips kissing means you're in a serious relationship just because you did it). Japanese girls will probably let you play with their nipples if they're at the point where you can hold or touch them (Japanese don't really hug or hold hands in public so if you can get mere physical contact definitely escalate slowly to nipples). But, they'll probably stop you if you try to heavy pet them. Escalate to that point.

Don't ask permission. Go slowly, but unrelentingly. Be confident. Outside of being confident, pay close attention to them and show that you are (ask personal questions, contrary to Western women, one or two small compliments but no more go a really long way). Don't appear desperate or in expectation or something. Be ready to retreat into stoicism.

Once you get to the no point, cease and desist. But, persist with whatever they let you get away with up to that point. Give them attention. Once it's time to go home, then turn a cold shoulder.

When you see them again, act like it's the most natural thing in the world to start escalating all over again. Start from the beginning, but do so confidently. Stay slow, but not as slow as before.

The point is that if you follow this formula, it doesn't take long to break in. Japanese girls who seem very very reserved - hell they'll seem like they're cool except for like some sort of stark limit they've set which is like the great wall of china or something - these reserved girls will have sex with you all night once you've crossed the threshold.

I'd say you can pretty much get there by the second date. These girls are looking for literally one ounce of persistence to open up. They live in a reserved society and Western men are considered extremely romantic and giving. They just need to be able to preserve their SMV psychologically.

Slow but confident, non-desperate, persistence.

I know that I'm not suppose to dig into personal stories, but here's mine. I've had success with Japanese girls, but as I said there's this certain sweet spot with the decent looking or perhaps non-slutty girls where it seems like they like me but won't let it go anywhere. My fatal sin was assuming they weren't interested. But it seemed like they were, but whenever I pushed it backfired. Finally, I just slowed my pace a bit, but never stopped pushing and never ever asked permission. She cracked, not immediately, but very quickly. And now, it's sex whenever I want. She even swallows, and I never even asked. I did a couple nice things for her, standard stuff, and she felt really guilty and went to town and swallowed. Later, I repeated the process and more or less the same thing happened.

I banged a massage girl - which, look I'm not a baywatch lifeguard, this has never happened to me before.

Message: Japanese girls want sex, a lot of them. Some might want foreigners and some might be freaked out by foreigners, but they're pretty desperate and sensual people. Their culture causes them to be very very focused on preserving their SMV, though. So you just have to break through that in a way that makes sense to their cultural lens (non verbal communication, stoicism, persistence, warmness when it counts). Acting unilaterally (not asking permission - sorry feminists) is super manly to many girls because Japanese culture is very present and attentive and all actions come with implied meaning and are taken seriously, and making a move on a girl is taking very seriously like a sign you are super in love or something since a lot of Japanese guys will literally not make a move because they don't want a girl to think they like her because then he'll feel obligated to do relationship stuff etc. It's nuts.

There you go, basic game just applied to unique cultural norms. Almost more of a translation of non-verbal communication rather than this idea that Japanese people are that different from us.