META: Does any one else feel that the honest accounts in this sub are a rather damning indictment of the very possibility of sexually satisfying lifelong monogamy?

75 points•72 comments•submitted by SubjectsNotObjects to r/DeadBedrooms

So many of the stories start with: "When we first met we couldn't keep our hands off of one another"

I've read so many books about relationship psychology that say things like "the real work starts once the honeymoon period (2-3 years) is over and 'a more mature' relationship emerges".

Many of the posts seem to have the same recurring themes: supposedly LL men who won't touch their wives but masturbate to porn (i.e. in an attempt to fulfil non-monogamous fantasies).

Maybe it's just my own commitment issues or my limited imagination: but I cannot fathom how sex with someone you have been with for 10+ years could ever involve the same excitement and passion as a new lover with whom one is in the throws of fresh passion with?

What do you guys think? Is this sub just an uncovering of a long-hidden social taboo: that most marriages end up sexually unsatisfying for at least one partner? Is it really possible to be married to someone for decades and still have a fun and exciting sex-life? Are attempts to "spice things up in the bedroom" not an uphill battle that results in the need for gas-masks and electro-nipple stimulation (or whatever) given enough time?

I've always been sceptical of lifelong monogamous commitment: this sub confirms my worst fears, am I being completely irrational?